Culture on My Mind – All That Glitters: The Skywalker Saga Commemorative Figures

Culture on My Mind

Culture on My Mind
All That Glitters: The Skywalker Saga Commemorative Figures
November 8, 2019

 

 

With the release of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker this December, the nine-episode Skywalker Saga is coming to a close. To celebrate that milestone, Hasbro announced a set of gold-painted 3.75″-scale action figures, released in two-packs (and one three-pack) to commemorate each film, and exclusive to Walmart stores at $14.99 for each pack.

The original trilogy is represented by Darth Vader and a stormtrooper, Han Solo and Princess Leia, and Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca. The prequels are represented by Yoda and Darth Maul, Mace Windu and Jango Fett, and Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. The sequel trilogy gets the expected players of Finn and Poe Dameron, Rey and Kylo Ren, and the trio of C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8.

It’s an admirable attempt by Hasbro, but it misses the mark because the figures aren’t particularly special. They’re just repaints of previous releases, many of which had been seen several times before and/or were exclusive to a single outlet.

 

 

 

Starting with the Prequel Era figures in the line—

The Skywalker Saga Darth Maul figure comes from the Target-exclusive Era of the Force 8-pack. That same Darth Maul was released three times prior: The Saga Legends Collection in 2014, The Epic Battles prequel pack from 2015’s The Force Awakens Collection, and another Target 8-pack from the Rogue One Collection in 2016.

The Skywalker Saga Jango Fett came from that same Rogue One Collection 8-pack, originating from the Epic Battles prequel pack from 2015 and the Saga Legends series in 2013. Meanwhile, The gold Mace Windu figure bridges the two as it comes from the Era of the Force 8-pack and the Epic Battles prequel pack, after first being produced for the 2013 Saga Legends series.

The gold Obi-Wan Kenobi was last seen in the Era of the Force 8-pack. That same figure was released several times, including in the Rogue One Collection 8-pack, the Epic Battles prequel pack, a Revenge of the Sith-themed two-pack in 2015’s The Force Awakens Collection, the 2014 Saga Legends series, and the 2013 Saga Legends series. The gold Anakin Skywalker shared the Epic Battles prequel pack with his former master, but only appeared in the 2013 Saga Legends series before that.

The Skywalker Saga Yoda figure is the outlier. It was originally the Jedi Master Yoda from 2017’s The Last Jedi Collection. That sculpt was reworked slightly for later release in the 2019 Galaxy of Adventures line.

All told, these Prequel Era figures have appeared multiple times before:

  • Era of the Force Target 8-pack (2017) – 3
  • The Last Jedi Collection (2017) – 1
  • Rogue One Target 8-pack (2016) – 3
  • The Force Awakens Epic Battles (2015) – 5
  • The Force Awakens Collection (2015) – 1
  • Saga Legends Collection (2014) – 2
  • Saga Legends Collection (2013) – 4

 

For the Original Trilogy Era figures—

The Skywalker Saga Stormtrooper is a repaint of the 2016 Rogue One series Stormtrooper, which was an all-new sculpt. Collecting site Jedi Business (whose extensive database was immensely helpful in the development of this work) speculated that it was a repaint of the Mimban Stormtrooper (minus the cape) from the 2018 Solo: A Star Wars Story line, but the Mimban helmet sculpt was different. It is possible that the gold Stormtrooper combines the two figures into one for this release.

Along those same lines, both the gold Darth Vader figure and the gold Princess Leia figure are repaints Solo: A Star Wars Story line. Both Darth Vader and Hoth Leia were original sculpts for 2018.

The Skywalker Saga Han Solo figure originally comes from the 2015 Saga Legends series, and was an original sculpt for that line. The gold Luke Skywalker was also an original sculpt for 2017’s The Last Jedi collection. Luke was included in a Target-exclusive three-pack with Emperor Palpatine and an Imperial guard.

The gold Chewbacca is one of the most recent re-releases, coming from the Galaxy of Adventures line in 2018. That figure was minor reworking of the Chewbacca from The Last Jedi, which was original to that line.

Counting up previous appearances, it’s a far smaller list for the Original Trilogy Era figures:

  • Galaxy of Adventures Collection (2018) – 1
  • Solo: A Star Wars Story Collection (2018) – 2
  • The Last Jedi Collection (2017) – 1
  • Rogue One Collection (2016) – 1
  • Saga Legends Collection (2015) – 1

It’s interesting that the majority of this set comes from late-2017 and 2018 releases given that Hasbro posted significant losses for that year.

 

For the Sequel Trilogy Era figures—

The Skywalker Saga Finn figure comes from 2017’s The Last Jedi collection. The C-3PO figure comes from the same line.

The gold BB-8 figure is a little more difficult to track down, but after looking at the antennas, it lines up best with 2015’s The Force Awakens Unkar’s Thug 3-pack (later re-released in the Target-exclusive 8-pack, the 2015 Kohl’s-exclusive 5-pack, and 2016’s Takodana Encounter 4-pack. I initially thought it was the BB-8 from The Last Jedi – found in the Rose/BB-8/BB-9e 3-pack, later re-released in the Solo: A Star Wars Story line – but that one has a more squarish tip on one of the antennas.

The gold Poe Dameron figure is a bit of a foggier story: It could come from either 2015’s The Force Awakens collection or The Last Jedi collection, both of which are virtually identical excepting paint jobs. The gold Rey also follows a murky trajectory: It could come from either The Last Jedi collection or and of the various reworks of that figure. Those include the Crait Defense 4-pack, 2017’s Praetorian Guard 2-pack, the Kohl’s-exclusive 4-pack, 2018’s Solo: A Star Wars Story series, and the 2019 Galaxy of Adventures line. It seems that every time the Last Jedi Rey gets released, it gets tweaked in some manner.

The Skywalker Saga Kylo Ren figure comes from either The Last Jedi or Solo: A Star Wars Movie. Similarly, the Skywalker Saga R2-D2 figure comes from either The Last Jedi or Galaxy of Adventures.  In both cases, the latter figure is a rework of the former, but they are virtually identical. The gold R2-D2 does not appear to come with the booster rockets from either of these prior releases.

Since the Sequel Trilogy Era figures primarily stem from either The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi, there’s no need to tabulate them like the previous eras.

 

It’s evident that there is nothing new nor remarkable about this action figure line. It is a figurative warming up of the leftovers with a new presentation.

I’m trying to avoid the cynical opinion that it would be better to pick up each figure on the secondary market along with a can of gold spray paint. It might be easier given Walmart’s track record with toy exclusives. But, I digress.

While priced lower than current 3.75″ Star Wars figures – a new figure runs nearly $13 today – it’s apparent that the target audience is adults. These are meant for mint-on-card display or for unboxing and standing on a shelf. I can’t imagine a kid choosing a gold version of their favorite character over a more true-to-screen painted option.

Since these are geared more for adult collectors, Hasbro missed a – ahem – golden opportunity to engage the Black Series line and produce a truly remarkable tribute to the movie saga’s milestone. Think about it in terms of who is missing in this set and what holes currently exist in the Black Series line.

 

How would I have constructed this tribute to make it more meaningful while saving some production costs for Hasbro?

To start, where’s Padmé? For either The Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones, I would have included her. As the mother of the Skywalker twins, it is a crime to not include her in this tribute to the Skywalker Saga. Additionally, she was at her best as an independent leader and fighter in the first two prequel films. Padmé has only been in the Black Series once and that was in her white bodysuit from the Geonosis scenes in Attack of the Clones. I would have considered including Padmé from the Battle of Naboo in The Phantom Menace.

To accompany Padmé, I would re-release the Black Series Qui-Gon Jinn from 2017, but I would include a soft-goods Jedi robe and poncho combination. Those elements would have been great additions to the original bare-bones release.

Moving to Attack of the Clones, Count Dooku is already rumored for a 2020 release, so just move that figure up in the pipeline. Yes, Darth Maul was far more flashy, but Count Dooku was more manipulative and engineered the Clone Wars. Plus, he was portrayed by the legendary Christopher Lee. To complete the pair, add in Yoda with a cleaner robe and reworked face from his first appearance in the Black Series line, lining him up with the climactic duel from the second prequel episode.

Revenge of the Sith is easy. Palpatine/Sidious has appeared twice in the Black Series line, both from Return of the Jedi. It would be great to see a figure from the moment when Palpatine reveals himself as a Sith Lord just before executing Order 66. To offset the new figure, add in Obi-Wan Kenobi from the same film. That particular character has been released twice in the Black Series, but it was the same figure each time. Not only did Hasbro neglect a soft-goods robe, but the face sculpt was terrible. Using the lessons learned with the recently released Clone Commander Kenobi and the upcoming Attack of the Clones Kenobi, Hasbro could easily correct the sculpt and offer a much better figure.

When looking at the Original Trilogy Era, things start getting tricky. Luke and Vader have been released several times, and both Han and Chewie aren’t as dynamic when it comes to wardrobe changes. This is where Hasbro has to get creative.

For A New Hope, I would use the 2017 Black Series Han Solo that included the optional black-gloved pilot hands. This time, I would also add the headset that he wears while piloting and fighting in the Millennium Falcon. I would also re-release the 2014 Chewbacca, but include a dejarik table if possible. This would be a large money-saving release for Hasbro so they could channel funds into new sculpts and remasters for this line.

The Empire Strikes Back contains one of my favorite costumes in the Star Wars films, so I’m a little biased here. The Black Series needs Bespin Leia, burgundy and white gown, in soft goods. No question. Back that up with a slightly different Darth Vader than we’ve seen before by tapping into the Dagobah cave trial. Using previous releases, Hasbro could remaster Vader slightly to align the costume to the film. Then create a damaged helmet with Luke’s face as an alternate head, making the figure serve two purposes as either Vader or Force-vision Vader.

For Return of the Jedi, I would start with the forthcoming Luke Skywalker Jedi Knight figure. It’s a great update to the previous release with the addition of a soft-goods robe, but I certainly have issues with it. Primarily, it needs darker hair and robes, a better face sculpt, and an extra lightsaber hilt to clip to the waist.

To cap the original trilogy era, Hasbro could make a special effort for this commemorative set and include the Sebastian Shaw version of Anakin from the pre-Special Edition versions of Return of the Jedi. It’s a deep cut, but a good one. That character has appeared as an action figure three times – 1985, 1998, and 1999 – all of which were in the 3.75″ scale.

A really bad version of the Hayden Christensen Force ghost debuted in 2007.

The sequel trilogy era is much more difficult in terms of originality.

For The Force Awakens, I’d go with a remaster of Poe Dameron from the Escape from Destiny 2-pack. It captured his look from the opening sequences of the film, but it needs work on the face sculpt. For some reason, Hasbro can’t adequately capture Oscar Isaac’s features in plastic. I’d also add a re-release of Finn, either as FN-2187 or in Poe’s jacket from later in the film.

Still image from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

For The Last Jedi, that has to be a re-release of the Walmart-exclusive throne room Kylo Ren (with removable helmet and soft-goods cape) alongside the Crait Base Rey. Rey’s soft-goods clothing would need to be cleaned up quite a bit for this release, so that’s where I’d spend most of the time in remastering this one. Plus, you know, this duo will certainly make the Reylo shippers happy.

Anyone who follows me on social media already knows of my disdain for that couple.

Still image from Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Finally, since we don’t officially know that much about The Rise of Skywalker, I’d follow Hasbro’s lead here with the three droids: C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8. I would avoid the “red arm” variant on Threepio, and I’d also use a clean version of BB-8.

Still image from the 2016 Oscars.

 

In summary:

The Phantom Menace: Padmé (Battle of Naboo) and Qui-Gon Jinn

Attack of the Clones: Count Dooku and Yoda

Revenge of the Sith: Darth Sidious and Obi-Wan Kenobi

A New Hope: Han Solo and Chewbacca

The Empire Strikes Back: Darth Vader (Cave Vision) and Bespin Leia

Return of the Jedi: Spirit of Anakin Skywalker and Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker

The Force Awakens: Finn and Poe Dameron

The Last Jedi: Rey and Kylo Ren

The Rise of Skywalker: C-3PO, R2-D2, BB-8

 

This lineup covers the spectrum of the saga from the origins of the Skywalker line to the potential end as the nine-episode arc closes.

Honorable mention ideas include a Yavin Throne Room 4-pack with Leia, Luke, Han, and Chewie and something with the twins from the end of Revenge of the Sith. The latter would introduce the Organas and the Lars, each with swaddled infants as accessories, but the new sculpts would drive the cost. The Throne Room set would also be cost-prohibitive.

As far as cost is considered, Black Series figures typically sell for $19.99 each, though Walmart often prices them between $15 and $18 each. With that and the cost savings from reusing existing figures in mind, Walmart and Hasbro could easily move these sets for around $30 per box.

Again, since the gold figures are obviously geared for adult collectors, I built this hypothetical model toward adult collectors.

 

Thought exercise aside, the point here is simple: Hasbro took the easy way out with a milestone commemorative action figure set. After 42 years and nine films – not even counting the piles of books, comics, games, films, and animated series – a major player in pop culture is coming to a close. The fans deserve so much more than leftover and poorly-selling figures with bad paint jobs.

This was Hasbro’s moment to prove that they respect the franchise and the community, but they fell back into the same old routine that promotes maligned distribution practices and overpriced products. They could have offered Star Wars fans something amazing. Instead, all they did was prove Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice right.

All that glitters is not gold.

 

 

(Once again, collecting site Jedi Business and its extensive database was immensely helpful in the development of this work. I am grateful for the Jedi Business team and their hard work in cataloging and reviewing modern Star Wars figures.)
cc-break

Culture on My Mind is inspired by the weekly Can’t Let It Go segment on the NPR Politics Podcast where each host brings one thing to the table that they just can’t stop thinking about.

For more creativity with a critical eye, visit Creative Criticality.

Timestamp #SJA5: Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?

Sarah Jane Adventures: Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?
(2 episodes, s01e05, 2007)

 

What would the world have been without Sarah Jane Smith.

Clyde introduces Luke to skateboarding, much to Sarah Jane’s chagrin. When Clyde tries and fails to ollie, Alan demonstrates the trick and then shows off his skills. The group takes some photos, prompting Sarah Jane to get the chills before they all head home.

Sarah Jane asks Mr. Smith about a meteorite that is heading straight for Earth, but she’s not worried since she can save the world without alerting a soul. Maria notes that without her the planet would be doomed, and Sarah Jane offers the young woman an alien puzzlebox. It came from a Verron Soothsayer with instructions to give it to the person she trusts the most and just to “remember.”

Maria heads home and works on the puzzle box while a cloaked figure stalks Bannerman Road. The mysterious figure gestures and everything about Sarah Jane disappears. The puzzle box glows blue and Maria jolts awake as if from a nightmare. The next morning, Alan shows off his old skateboard and talks about a woman named Andrea. Maria heads over to Sarah Jane’s house this Andrea in her friend’s place. Alan has no idea who Sarah Jane Smith is either, and she and Luke are missing from the photos from the previous day.

Maria calls Clyde, who doesn’t remember Sarah Jane either, and recalls that the meteorite is still headed for Earth. Maria bursts into 13 Bannerman Road and heads for the attic, but there’s no trace. Even Mr. Smith is gone.

Sarah Jane Smith has apparently been removed from existence along with the history of this entire show outside of Maria’s memory.

Even though Alan doesn’t believe her, Maria searches the internet for traces of Sarah Jane Smith. They eventually head to the library and discover that thirteen-year-old Sarah Jane Smith drowned in 1964 and Andrea Yates, the woman across the street, was her best friend. Maria faintly hears Sarah Jane’s voice as the names in the article flutter, but faced with the threat of being sent to the doctor for her delusions, Maria rolls with the new reality.

Maria apologizes to Andrea before reminding the woman of Sarah Jane Smith. Andrea doesn’t recall any of it until Maria presses the issue, but she then angrily pushes Maria out of the house. Andrea panics and rushes upstairs to find a puzzle box identical to Maria’s. She sees the cloaked figure in the mirror and is reminded of their agreement, and she begs to have Maria forget. The cloaked figure offers to make Maria disappear and Andrea agrees. All she has to do is separate Maria from Alan.

Meanwhile, Maria sees Sarah Jane in the mirror. As Andrea takes Alan to her house, Maria finds her puzzle cube and encounters a creature called the Graske that chases her out of the house. The Graske transmats Maria away and removes her from the timeline, but luckily Alan finds the puzzle cube and remembers her (even though Chrissie cannot).

Maria breaks free of the Graske and is deposited on a pier. The date is July 13, 1964, and Maria meets a young Sarah Jane Smith and Andrea Yates. Maria pleads with the girls not to go down the pier but they ignore her. The Graske arrives and transmats Maria back into captivity where she finds the adult Sarah Jane. They are the only occupants of a misty plane called Limbo.

The mysterious figure summons Sarah Jane and explains that he has removed her from the timeline in order to feed off the chaos that the meteorite will cause. This also removed the Bane, the Slitheen, the Gorgon, and Kudlak from recent history to perfectly craft his plan. He also plans to remove the Doctor in order to prevent any interference and sow an unlimited amount of chaos in the universe.

Alan, Chrissie, and Clyde attend Andrea’s party. Clyde gets word of the meteorite and turns on the news. That triggers Alan’s memory of Maria, and he pulls Andrea aside to get to the truth.

When Andrea and Sarah Jane were on a school trip in July 1964, they left to explore on their own. They went into the construction zone on the pier and Andrea tumbled over the side. Sarah Jane tried to save her friend, but Andrea wasn’t able to hold on. The mysterious figure told Andrea that she could switch places and she agreed, sealing Sarah Jane’s fate. The puzzle box was a gift to help her to forget on the condition that the mysterious figure would be with her forever.

Alan is disgusted, doubly so since Andrea made the deal twice. The mysterious figure offers to send Alan away so Andrea bats the original puzzle box away and the Graske shows up to give chase. Alan outwits the Graske with his skateboard and uses the snare device to rescue Maria.

As the meteor bears down on the planet, Andrea realizes that Sarah Jane can save the world. Maria and Alan run for the attic and find Andrea begging the mysterious figure for help. Andrea sees Sarah Jane in the mirror and Maria tells Andrea to break off the deal. Together, they appeal to Andrea’s humanity in an amazing scene between Elisabeth Sladen and Jane Asher.

Andrea faces the mysterious figure (which Alan calls “The Trickster”) and rescinds the offer. With a final farewell to Sarah Jane, the proper timeline is restored. Without a second to spare, Sarah Jane activates Mr. Smith and stops the meteor from hitting Earth.

Of course, all of it was in full view of Alan Jackson. And he demands an explanation.

 

What a fun trip! The alternate timeline constructed by this story is a fascinating thought experiment, one that apparently keeps all of Sarah Jane’s victories with the Doctor intact but credits them to this Trickster entity. The Trickster’s threat to remove the Doctor from existence echoes the Master’s plan in The Five Doctors, and his intentions to undo every victory in the Time Lord’s adventures are perfectly clear.

Regarding our characters, the Sarah Jane/Maria friendship continues to grow beautifully, and the introduction of Alan to the Bannerman Road Gang is hilarious and welcome.

There was a nice reference here to the Church of the Tin Vagabond, as well as a clever nod to the Black Guardian and Turlough in Mawdryn Undead: “Waking or sleeping, I am always with you.”

 

Rating: 5/5 – “Fantastic!”

 

UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: The Lost Boy

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

 

 

Culture on My Mind – No Laughing Matter

Culture on My Mind

Culture on My Mind
No Laughing Matter
November 4, 2019

Humor has a time and place. It’s an art, not a science, and can be therapeutic at times. It also needs to be done carefully.

Concerning jokes about mental illness and seeking therapy, especially so. Let me explain where I come from.

I have talked before, though never at any particular length, about the 2005 collision at sea on the USS Philadelphia. One of the immediate repercussions was losing some members of the crew who would no longer voluntarily go to sea. The event was just too traumatizing and they were sent home to be reassigned. Once we got underway again, those crewmen were the butt of many jokes (never by me, at any measure) for the following weeks. They were denigrated as not “real men” for being unable to tough it out and do their jobs. They were seen as weak for seeking mental self-care and removing themselves from a high-stress situation.

That incident is far from isolated in the military, and definitely not linked to one generation or decade in time. The history of each service is rife with people who have experienced trauma – shell shock, battle fatigue, soldier’s heart, PTSD, etc – but don’t seek therapy or assistance because they fear that it makes them appear weak in one way or another. It has ended relationships, careers, and lives in far too many cases.

It’s endemic in our society. Only recently have I noticed a trend of people openly talking about therapy and mental self-care. Before then – and still today – it was hush-hush for fear of retaliation by family, friends, and employers.

The peer pressure to avoid the appearance of weakness for seeking help is totally real. I’ve been down that road myself, and I know many more who walked it over the years.

I mean, it’s been fourteen years for me and I’m starting to come to terms with it. Imagine those around you – who you interact with on a daily basis – who carry that burden all the time.

It’s why I cringe when I see comments from people (especially friends) that use treatment as a punchline. From telling people who don’t agree with a particular stance that they need mental help to dismissing an opinion as a result of “not taking meds,” it’s a potential manifestation of that pressure. Even if it’s not intentional.

Sometimes humor inflicts damage. That damage can override the ability to “just get over it” or take a joke. It can even also be deadly.

All I’m asking is that people be more careful with their words and more mindful of their actions. Don’t treat mental illness or treatment of it as a targeted punchline to simply shut someone up. Treat the topic with the seriousness it deserves and find another way to make the point.

cc-break

Culture on My Mind is inspired by the weekly Can’t Let It Go segment on the NPR Politics Podcast where each host brings one thing to the table that they just can’t stop thinking about.

For more creativity with a critical eye, visit Creative Criticality.

Culture on My Mind – Creative Criticality Supports #TeamTrees

Culture on My Mind

Culture on My Mind
Creative Criticality Supports #TeamTrees
November 1, 2019

There is a movement occurring on YouTube, and this time it’s both constructive and potentially world-changing.

Back in May 2019, YouTube content creator MrBeast (known in meatspace as Jimmy Donaldson) reached 20 million subscribers on his channel that is dedicated to pranks, stunts, and general tomfoolery. To be completely honest, I had never heard of MrBeast before last weekend since I prefer more educational, sci-fi genre, and current events-type channels to (let’s say) the stylings of PewDiePie. But, upon reaching 20 million subscribers, MrBeast asked his audience what he should do to celebrate, and they made their desires perfectly clear.

They asked him to plant 20 million trees. One for each of his milestone subscribers.

MrBeast teamed with former NASA engineer Mark Rober to start a tree-planting campaign, which is where I heard about it. Over several months, they secretly recruited friends on YouTube to develop the plan, eventually opening it to everyone. Every creator has a community of friends and followers, and if they all donate even one dollar per tree, they can all plant 20 million trees together by 2020.

My family is deeply linked to the environment. We spend a lot of time enjoying the natural world all around us through hiking, river rafting, and scuba diving adventures. We do what we can to help keep it safe through local litter pick-up days, our neighborhood’s adopt-a-highway program, donating to conservation causes, and supporting organizations and legislators who share our ecological values.

Creative Criticality and my family are on board with this effort.

The donations go to the Arbor Day Foundation through the #TeamTrees portal. The mission team chose the Arbor Day Foundation due to the organization’s 47-year longevity and professional knowledge in the field. The trees will be planted in a variety of forests and public lands starting in January 2020 and the project is scheduled for completion by December 2022.

Planting 20 million trees won’t save the planet by itself, but it is a step in the right direction.

You can help by going to https://teamtrees.org/ and donating what you can. You can also help by asking your favorite content creators to join the effort by rallying their audiences with videos and posts like this. Even talking about #TeamTrees in social media feeds helps boost the signal. The more people who come to the cause means a greater chance of success.

Thank you for consideration.

Don’t just take my word for it. Here are some videos from my YouTube subscription feed that brought #TeamTrees to my attention.

Mark Rober investigated companies that are using drones to plant trees via biomimetics.

Derek Muller from Veritasium examined the science of tree heights.

Bob Clagett of I Like To Make Stuff gave his audience a quick tour of his farm.

Destin Sandlin from Smarter Every Day took a look at long-leaf pines and the role of fire in helping them to grow.

Joe Hanson from It’s Okay to Be Smart on PBS examined the physics of photosynthesis and how it would change on other planets.

Alan Melikdjanian, known as Captain Disillusion, devoted a couple of minutes to rallying his followers to the cause.

Once again, you can help by visiting the #TeamTrees donation portal, asking your favorite content creators to join the cause, and telling your friends about the quest to plant 20 million trees.


cc-break

Culture on My Mind is inspired by the weekly Can’t Let It Go segment on the NPR Politics Podcast where each host brings one thing to the table that they just can’t stop thinking about.

For more creativity with a critical eye, visit Creative Criticality.

Timestamp #SJA4: Warriors of Kudlak

Sarah Jane Adventures: Warriors of Kudlak
(2 episodes, s01e04, 2007)

 

Be all you can be in the Uvodni army.

In a laser tag facility known as Combat 3000, a boy named Lance Metcalf goes down a side corridor and is transmatted away. An alien named Kudlak reports the new arrival to his superior – the Mistress – who then demands more… so many more.

Luke and Maria are sharing a day in London and receive vouchers for half-price admission to Combat 3000 from a shady Mr. Grantham. It seems that he is the human liaison for the child-snatching aliens. Meanwhile, Sarah Jane is investigating Lance’s disappearance starting with his widowed mother Carrie.

The Bannerman Road Gang is “bogging” around in the attic, much to Sarah Jane’s chagrin. She asks them about Lance and learns about his nickname – the Corporal – which infuriates her since Lance’s father was killed in Iraq. Luke unknowingly coined the nickname and therefore takes Lance’s disappearance to heart. Luke storms out and Clyde goes to talk to him while Maria and Sarah Jane look for Lance’s friend Brandon.

Brandon relays a story about a stormy day when the weather was perfectly clear everywhere else. Sarah Jane and Maria are baffled. Back near Bannerman Road, Clyde talks with Luke as Sarah Jane and Maria research the isolated storm. The short-lived storms are linked to disappearing children across the country, prompting the ladies to build a gadget to solve the mystery. The device extracts entanglement shells – terraforming seeds and residue of transmatting – from the atmosphere. With Mr. Smith’s help, they isolate the epicenter of the freak storm to Combat 3000.

Aliens: confirmed!

Luke and Clyde decide to visit Combat 3000 as a distraction (were Kudlak is taking his frustrations out on Grantham). Grantham takes interest in Luke based on his stellar performance during the game. Meanwhile, Sarah Jane and Maria investigate the facility – Maria makes Sarah Jane promise never to use slang again – as Luke and Clyde make their way through the increasingly difficult gaming levels. The ladies break into Grantham’s office and, when caught in the act, confront the man about the missing kids. He pulls a gun (from another planet) on them as a rainstorm begins. Sarah Jane tricks him with the sonic lipstick and they escape, set on finding the transmat device.

Meanwhile, Luke and Clyde make it through a surprise attack and enter what they think is the final room. The boys are trapped and transmatted away as Sarah Jane and Maria watch, finally meeting the mysterious Kudlak. They escape from Kudlak – Sarah Jane lightens the mood by quipping about her UNIT training – and return to Bannerman Road. Mr. Smith identifies Kudlak as an Uvodni, part of a planetary alliance that fought against the Malakh. After being injured, Kudlak was sent to recruit warriors from across the universe.

Luke and Clyde are forcibly placed in a wooden crate and rolled to a storage area. Luke uses the laser tag gear to break them out of the crate and free the other kids as well. Together they break out of the storage area and discover that they are on a spaceship orbiting Earth. They also meet Kudlak when he finds them and introduces them to the Mistress as good warrior stock. When they return to the storage room, Luke wires his mobile phone into the ship’s computer and locates a shuttlecraft. They are soon found by Kudlak and taken into custody.

Sarah Jane and Maria are interrupted by Grantham as he breaks into the house and tries to kill Sarah Jane. Maria uses an electrical circuit from the earlier device to incapacitate Grantham. Once they figure out that Luke and Clyde are in orbit, they take Grantham back to Combat 3000 to find the transmat device. Until the pressure of being sent to prison, Grantham transmats them to the orbiting ship.

Sarah Jane and Maria search for the kids, taking time for Maria’s breathtaking first look at the planet from orbit. They find the room where Kudlak communicates with the Mistress, but their discussion is interrupted by Kudlak and the missing kids. Luke shows Kudlak evidence that the war has ended while the solider was away, and Kudlak discovers that the Mistress is nothing more than a computer subroutine.

Kudlak destroys the computer and frees the humans, offering his life in exchange for his crimes against Earth. Sarah Jane pardons him and Kudlak offers to find the humans he previously sent away in exchange. The Bannerman Road Gang leads the missing kids back to Earth, and Luke gets a kiss from former fellow captive Jen as a reward.

They take Lance home and speculate about his future – perhaps he’ll be the first human man on Mars? – before Luke asks Clyde to explain the mysteries of girls.

 

This story was a step up with significant character development for Clyde and Luke. The continued friendship and deepening trust between Sarah Jane and Maria is also a great touch for the series. I was also impressed with the twist for Kudlak: The story’s enemy doesn’t die, despite his desire to sacrifice himself for the cause, and ends up seeking redemption in the end. That’s some classic-era-level storytelling.

The in-universe references were fun – background appearances include a Cyberman, Krillitane wings, and the Beast‘s horns – as were the cross-franchise references like Star Trek and Planet of the Apes, but the best one was musical. When Clyde jokingly identified as Luke’s Obi-Wan Kenobi, composer Sam Watts added a quiet nod to John Williams with a slice of the Force Theme.

The big distraction in this episode was Kudlak. Specifically, his eyes. Because they were all over the place. It echoes the classic era’s shoestring-and-ham-sandwich budget, but it really pulled me out of the story with modern television resolution.

 

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

 

 

UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

 

 

Timestamp #SJA3: Eye of the Gorgon

Sarah Jane Adventures: Eye of the Gorgon
(2 episodes, s01e03, 2007)

 

That moment when Alan Jackson gets stoned.

At the Lavender Lawns retirement home, a group of women claims to see a mysterious ghostly nun. Clyde tells Sarah Jane and Luke about this phenomenon as they go to investigate. While Sarah Jane interviews Mrs. Randall and the staff, Luke encounters Bea Nelson-Stanley, a woman with Alzheimer’s. She gives Luke a talisman that glows green but is unable to explain what it does or why she has it. Mrs. Gribbins, one of the caregivers, watches the exchange with interest. The trio leave, unaware of a creepy nun skulking amongst the trees.

Meanwhile, at the Jackson home, Chrissie decides to move back in with her ex-husband. In short order, she’s at odds with Maria over the Smiths and being abandoned. Alan tries to talk with Maria, but she storms off to Sarah Jane’s house in anger. Alan confronts Chrissie about her effect on him and Maria.

Sarah Jane and the boys return to her house and consult Mr. Smith about hauntings. The supercomputer detects the talisman and determines that it is an alien device. Sarah Jane takes Maria with her to follow up with Bea, taking the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart.

The nun, Sister Helena, disapproves of Bea passing the talisman to Luke and takes Mrs. Gribbins to a hooded woman in a wheelchair. There’s some screaming and such. Sister Helena then traces Luke and Clyde to Bannerman Road in search of the talisman. She nearly attacks the boys but Alan stumbles by in search of Maria and offers a donation to her cause. Sister Helena leaves and the boys decide to return to Lavender Lawns. While en route, the sisters kidnap Luke and Clyde alerts Sarah Jane.

Bea tells Sarah Jane tales about Sontarans – “the silliest looking race in the galaxy” – and the Gorgon, part of adventures with her archaeologist husband Edgar. He unearthed the talisman in Syria and Bea protected it to keep the Gorgon at bay. Sarah Jane and Maria return to Bannerman Road to research the myths of Medusa and the Gorgons.

Sarah Jane tracks the nuns to St. Agnes Abbey while Clyde and Maria sneak around back. Sarah Jane is reunited with Luke and the kids as the nuns spring their trap, bringing the Gorgon before the team. The Gorgon is the last of an original group of three, and after 3,000 years, she wants to use the talisman to open a portal to her planet and return home. The boys are left at the abbey and the ladies are escorted back to Sarah Jane’s house. Sarah Jane threatens to use her sonic lipstick to destroy the talisman, but Alan arrives at the wrong time and ends up turned to stone as the nuns snatch the talisman.

The nuns retreat to the abbey as Maria lashes out at Sarah Jane in anger. Sarah Jane comforts her and offers a promise that everything will be okay. After consulting with Mr. Smith, it seems that reversal is possible but not entirely realistic. Maria returns to Lavender Lawns to talk to Bea while Sarah Jane returns to the abbey.

Meanwhile, Luke and Clyde do some research at the abbey and find a secret passage. It leads them out to the garden where they find a large collection of statues. The nuns return and start their work to open the portal, intent on allowing the Gorgon species to invade Earth. Luke and Clyde stage a distraction and steal the talisman, soon rescued by Sarah Jane before being surrounded by chanting nuns and tossed into the cellar. The nuns return for Sarah Jane with the intent of making her the new vessel for the Gorgon’s essence.

Faced with a difficult task, Maria eventually breaks through to Bea. The elderly woman was once petrified herself, but was able to survive through the power of the amulet. She offers Maria a mirror for her quest to defeat the Gorgon.

While everyone is away, Chrissie skulks around Sarah Jane’s house and mistakes Alan’s petrified form as an object of obsession over her ex-husband. After Chrissie bares her soul to the “statue,” it sheds a single tear as she walks away.

Luke fashions a lockpick from a garden spade and the boys escape from the cellar. They find Sarah Jane and the nuns as the portal opens and the Gorgon tries to transfer into Sarah Jane. Maria bursts in and uses the mirror to reflect the Gorgon back at its vessel, turning it into stone. She pulls the amulet and closes the portal, and the team rushes back to Bannerman Road to save Maria’s father.

Alan doesn’t remember the incident and Maria makes amends with both of her parents. Chrissie tries to reveal the statue to Alan, but without evidence, she has nothing to claim. Chrissie returns to her own home and bids her daughter farewell, both of them promising to look out for each other.

Maria and Sarah Jane speculate about the power of the amulet and wonder if it can save Bea from her Alzheimer’s. They return to Lavender Lawns and give it a try, but all the device can offer is a last word from Edgar: “I will always love you, Bea.” Bea smiles and thanks Sarah Jane and Maria. They pair leave Lavender Lawns with the knowledge that Bea has found peace, intent on returning home in time to watch the Viszeran Royal Fleet pass through the solar system.

After all, despite taking only a few seconds, it is the most magnificent light show this side of the galaxy.

 

Purely paint-by-numbers, this adventure was entertaining enough. It introduced a new enemy based on classic myths, as well as calling back to Sarah Jane’s early adventures with the Sontarans. Remember that her first adventure with the Third Doctor introduced everyone to the Sontarans, and she encountered them again in her extended first adventure with the Fourth Doctor.

Otherwise, the characters and story were straight down the middle of the road average. We get a nice bundle of references to Star Trek and 1964’s The Gorgon, but no callbacks to the Medusa-like encounter back in The Mind Robber.

 

Rating: 3/5 – “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”

 

UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: Warriors of Kudlak

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

 

 

Timestamp #SJA2: Revenge of the Slitheen

Sarah Jane Adventures: Revenge of the Slitheen
(2 episodes, s01e02, 2007)

 

They’re back, and this time they brought a kid.

Maria Jackson offers a brief recap of the characters and their last adventure as she heads to her first day of school. She meets up with Luke Smith – dropped off by Sarah Jane, who doesn’t want to be called “mum” – and they head toward the newly-built school building. Meanwhile, some familiar-looking aliens with familiar gas problems take over a teacher’s body.

Luke and Maria meet with new student Clyde Langer – Kelsey Hooper has conveniently disappeared, but not for reasons pertaining to this plot – and they join the assembled students for an orientation tour by the Slitheen-assimilated headmaster. Clyde notes that the building smells like metal and batteries, and a later lunch also proves strange.

Luke and Maria get a ride home with Sarah Jane. Alan Jackson and Sarah Jane talk for a moment about parenting and other new construction that smells like metal. While the Slitheen run electrical experiments, Sarah Jane does some research and counsels Luke on how to be a kid. The research reveals a company called Coldfire that has been building schools all across London.

Maria’s mother Chrissie stops by for a visit just as the Slitheen cut power to the entire city, including battery sources, Mr. Smith, and Sarah Jane’s wrist analyzer. Even candles refuse to stay lit. The Slitheen stop their experiment due to a faulty stabilizer and energy is restored, leaving the aliens with one step to go before destroying Earth.

The next morning, Sarah Jane talks to Alan as he gardens. She asks him about the school that he worked on – St. Cheldon’s Comprehensive – and investigates the connection. St. Cheldon’s has a new building just like Park Vale does, along with the same problems with electrical systems and spoiling food. All the while, someone is watching Sarah Jane on the school’s security cameras.

Meanwhile, Luke and Clyde bond over science class and the science-teacher-turned-Slitheen, Mr. Jeffery, wants to recruit Luke to help with the stabilizer problem. Luke unwittingly provides the answer while Sarah Jane asks Maria to snoop around the school while she checks out Coldfire Construction.

Luke and Clyde discover an unaccounted for space in the school while Maria is trapped by the Jeffery Slitheen in a computer lab. Sarah Jane encounters her own problems at Coldfire when the receptionist turns into a Slitheen as well. Sarah Jane, Clyde, and Maria are all hunted as Luke figures out how to enter the extra space behind the walls. There he finds the headmaster and the Slitheen science project.

Sarah Jane escapes by dousing her pursuer in perfume and using the sonic lipstick to open the door. She calls Luke and tells them how to escape. Luckily, Clyde has a can of Wolverine – think Axe body spray – and the kids escape with Sarah Jane just in the nick of time.

The Slitheen question how a human has a sonic device, but they determine that it’s too late to worry. Meanwhile, the kids and Sarah Jane convene at Bannerman Road. Sarah Jane learns about the Slitheen (and recalls something a friend once told her about Slitheen in Downing Street) before meeting Clyde and consulting Mr. Smith about Coldfire’s new constructions around the world. All of the ten cities have underground railways to act as a cooling system for the capacitor systems, and Luke reveals that he has provided the Slitheen with the key equation. The city of Los Angeles has just gone dark followed by China, and Washington, DC is up next.

Clyde also has a fascination with military operations.

Mr. Smith provides a biographical report on the Slitheen, but the city goes dark just before the supercomputer can deliver a weakness. Sarah Jane and her team head for the school, armed with Clyde’s information that the Slitheen were offended by his lunch. It seems that vinegar is the secret weapon. They hit the street as the sun goes dark.

The headmaster drops his human skin and greets the team as they arrive. The vinegar works, prompting the headmaster to explode, and the remaining two Slitheen call in reinforcements just in time to capture Sarah Jane and Luke.

Cue the villain exposition on the evil plan. The Slitheen want revenge against the Ninth Doctor.

Luke explains that the system can’t hold that much power. The rest of the team is captured as Luke makes adjustments, which requires a reset of the system. Sarah Jane and Luke use the newly restored sonic lipstick to break the system and the team escapes. Sarah Jane shows mercy on the younger Slitheen, allowing him to escape with the others who transmatted away.

The team arrives back at Bannerman Road as Sarah Jane informs UNIT of the escaped Slitheen with “love to the Brig.” Maria has a moment with her mother (who is skeptical of the events since Maria moved away) and Sarah Jane explains things to Clyde, including her adventures with the Doctor.

She also swears him to secrecy, and he tells her that she should be Luke’s mother. Sarah Jane has Mr. Smith put a rumor into the world to explain the strange happenings. She tells Luke that she’s proud of him and accepts her role as his mother.

 

Coming back ten months after the first episode, Sarah Jane returns with minor changes. The largest, of course, is changing Kelsey Hooper for Clyde Langer because the BBC thought that there were too many female characters on the show. That is a frustrating decision.

Otherwise, this story was a serviceable sequel to the Ninth Doctor’s adventures with the Slitheen. It was a good introduction to Clyde and a wonderful chance to grow for Sarah Jane. Motherhood looks good with her.

 

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

 

 

UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: Eye of the Gorgon

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

 

 

Culture on My Mind – The Mystery of the Missing Doctors

Culture on My Mind

Culture on My Mind
The Mystery of the Missing Doctors
October 14, 2019

 

 

Funko Pops are the Beanie Babies of the early twenty-first century.

I say that as a statement of fact, not as a slight or insult. Created in 1993, Beanie Babies were a fad collectible from the late 1990s. They weren’t toys in the normal sense, and are collected more for their trading value and the overall cuteness factor. I have several of them, most of them celebrating milestones in my life because they were inexpensive and heartfelt gifts from friends and family. I cherish them because of those intended purposes.

Funko Pops are very similar. They’re difficult to play with, but they serve as inexpensive gifts for the pop culture fiend in your life. The line spans thousands of characters over a wide variety of franchises and licenses. From a collecting perspective, while they’re certainly not as advanced and playable as standard action figures, they do provide an easy way to celebrate particular fandoms.

I don’t collect a lot of Funko Pops. I don’t have any problem with people who do.

My main point of contention is with the Funko company itself, or rather with how they treat licenses that they create for.

 

Here it comes: Oh, god, he’s going to talk about Doctor Who again, isn’t he?

Yes, I am.

The franchise hardly needs any introduction. It’s a cultural touchstone that has existed for 56 years with fourteen actors in the title role. There are a lot of collectibles on the market to celebrate this franchise, among them Funko Pops.

But I feel like Funko is doing fans of this show (and their product line) a disservice with their offerings.

Funko Pops based on Doctor Who started hitting shelves in 2015. Thirty distinct Pops were released that year, focused mostly on the revival era of the franchise. At this point, the show was between Series 8 (during which Peter Capaldi debuted as the Twelfth Doctor) and Series 9 (during which Jenna Coleman departed). The revival Doctors were highly represented and the classic era got some love as well. The modern companions were fairly well represented as were the monsters. The TARDIS herself got two releases.

Twelve of the figures – forty percent of the year’s figures – were exclusives to geeky stores (Hot Topic, Barnes & Noble, GameStop, ThinkGeek, FYE) and major conventions (San Diego Comic Con (SDCC) and New York Comic Con (NYCC)). The SDCC Twelfth Doctor in the spacesuit commands over $200 alone on the secondary market.

2015 (Thirty releases, twelve exclusives)

  • Ninth Doctor (x2)
  • Tenth Doctor (x4)
  • Eleventh Doctor (x3)
  • Twelfth Doctor (x3)
  • Fourth Doctor (x2)
  • Sarah Jane Smith (The Hand of Fear)
  • K-9
  • Rose Tyler
  • Jack Harkness (x2)
  • River Song
  • Weeping Angel
  • Dalek (x3)
  • Cyberman
  • Adipose (x2)
  • The Silence
  • TARDIS (x2)

The line slowed down considerably in 2016. Six figures were released and all of them but one were Doctors. Only one was exclusive.

2016 (Six releases, one exclusive)

  • Twelfth Doctor
  • Eleventh Doctor (x2)
  • Tenth Doctor
  • War Doctor
  • Davros

The following year brought a major shift in the line as only three figures were released, and all of them were exclusives.

2017 (Three releases, all exclusives)

  • Clara Oswald (SDCC, later Hot Topic)
  • Rory Williams (Hot Topic)
  • First Doctor (NYCC, later Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million)

In 2018, Funko moved back to six releases. Half of the line was sent to exclusive markets, including to Emerald City Comic Con (ECCC).

2018 (Six releases, three exclusives)

  • Amy Pond (ECCC, later Hot Topic)
  • Thirteenth Doctor (SDCC, later BBC)
  • Vashta Nerada (NYCC, later Hot Topic)
  • Thirteenth Doctor
  • Clara Memorial TARDIS
  • Missy

Finally, 2019 brought five new figures, two of which were exclusives. This year’s lineup was exclusively targeted toward Series 11 of the revival era.

2019 (Five releases, two exclusives)

  • Thirteenth Doctor
  • Reconnaissance Dalek
  • The Kerblam Man
  • P’ting (SDCC)
  • Tzim-Sha (NYCC)

Funko has released 23 figures based on the Doctor, but only 8 Doctors overall. The product line is heavily weighted toward the revival era, with only two Doctors and two companions representing the first 42 years of the franchise’s existence. Technically, Davros could represent the lone enemy from the classic years, but he has also appeared in the revival era which blunts the impact of that figure’s representation.

The problem is that we are missing six Doctors for a complete lineup of the show’s regenerating hero.

Funko has had problems completing lines in the past: Back when they had the Star Trek license, they created Pops for The Original Series, The Next Generation, and Star Trek Beyond. They completed the Enterprise crew for Beyond, but fell short with Next Gen and The Original Series. Specifically, they left out Beverly Crusher and Katherine Pulaski (both women and doctors) and only Kirk, Spock, and Scotty made the cut from the original NCC-1701. The rest of the franchise – Deep Space NineVoyagerEnterprise, the other twelve movies – didn’t get any love at all.

It’s not the only franchise line to fall to the wayside, either.

It would be understandable if Funko didn’t have the money or resources to complete the Doctor Who line, but that doesn’t jive with how they treat other popular franchises. Consider the various chrome sets (Marvel, DC, Star Wars, etc), the flocked versions, the sparkly “Diamond” glitter versions, the Rainbow Batman set (commemorating Batman’s 75th anniversary and Detective Comics #241), the DC Comics Lantern figures (Wonder Woman, Superman, and others became members of various Lantern Corp for a spell, prompting new Funko Pop molds for collectors), and the new Star Wars Skywalker Saga sets (which are really just repainted leftovers).

It also doesn’t pass the smell test when considering how many are coming out this year alone – an entire Mortal Kombat line, Miami ViceThe Dark Crystal, more Star WarsFrozenOverwatch, and the list goes on – and how many are stacked up on store shelves in the meantime. Just like Beanie Babies, these things seemingly reproduce like tribbles.

The evidence is clear. After an impressive debut followed by lackluster follow-up and lack of representation for classic fans, it’s apparent that Funko is failing fans of Doctor Who.

 

So, what can they do to fix it?

The obvious solution is to create the figures, but given that the market is saturated and (subsequently) distribution is scattershot, big-box brick-and-mortar storefronts are not the best option. I wouldn’t recommend convention exclusives either, since that approach tends to overinflate the price for anyone who cannot make the trip to San Diego, New York, Seattle, or other major conventions. I got lucky when shopping for the First Doctor because I found one on eBay that was missing the NYCC sticker and had a dented box, but not everyone has that.

Funko has worked with widely accessible storefronts such as Hot Topic, GameStop, Entertainment Earth, and Amazon. One option is to sell the missing Doctors through one of those more focused retailers. Another option is to use the online Funko Shop to “pre-order” the figures and judge how many to make. Six months later, distribute the figures to the buyers with a few left over for stragglers (which can by sold via the first option).

If this proves profitable, it could open the way for more companions, more monsters, and more Doctor Who in the Funko line.

Either way, the hole in the collection is painfully obvious. Doctor Who shouldn’t go the way of Star Trek or other incomplete franchise lines. It is a cornerstone and gold standard for science fiction television, and each of the incarnations of the titular hero has a dedicated fan following.

Funko should respect that history and those fans. They should complete the timeline of the Doctor.
cc-break

Culture on My Mind is inspired by the weekly Can’t Let It Go segment on the NPR Politics Podcast where each host brings one thing to the table that they just can’t stop thinking about.

For more creativity with a critical eye, visit Creative Criticality.

Timestamp: Series Three Summary

Doctor Who: Series Three Summary

 

Tennant’s sophomore year is a winner.

The big arc for this series was the story of Martha Jones. She starts as a medical doctor and ends up saving the world, and I consider her one of the best companions in the history of the franchise. It’s easy to see her as the Rebound Rose, particularly since that’s how she feels for the entire run, but I think that her presence on the TARDIS is so much more important than that.

Martha is enamored with the Doctor, but she’s perpetually perplexed by the unrequited feelings. The Doctor doesn’t romantically love her, but I saw that he develops a different type of love for her over the span of adventures. Her journey starts as a thank you for saving the Doctor in Smith and Jones, but by the time that we reach Human Nature we see a different side of the Doctor. She’s gained his confidence and respect, and he trusts her with his life, even though guarding his identity will be one of the most trying things she’s ever done.

She faced abuse and racism because of the Doctor but she kept to her mission because she loved him. He loved her enough to place his life (and the fate of the universe) in her hands. It’s a good reminder that not all love is romantic and that platonic love can be a force far stronger than sexual attraction.

When we get to “the year that never happened,” he shows that trust and respect once again, and Martha comes through to save the universe one more time. Martha’s character grew even more when her family got involved with the Saxon campaign, providing her a choice between saving her loved ones or saving all of existence. It was a clever move from the Master, and a brilliant choice to present to Martha. The entire time, Martha remains Martha. She doesn’t change herself to win the Doctor’s love, and she has enough self-respect to walk away when she knows that her efforts are futile.

It’s a far better relationship than we saw with Rose, the woman who melted for the Tenth Doctor and changed course from the shop girl we met way back in Rose. I know that fans love her, and that’s their prerogative, but I felt that she became less of a companion and more of a groupie as she went on. Rose had an important role in helping the Ninth Doctor heal after the events of the Time War, but Martha definitively showed the Tenth Doctor that there was more to life than death.

 

I don’t want to take away from Donna Noble’s debut in The Runaway Bride. She was amazing and took no nonsense from the Doctor. I’m glad that we get to see her again.

 

Series Three comes in at an average of 4.3. That’s a tie for third with Series One, coming behind the Ninth classic seasons and the Eighth Doctor’s run.

 

The Runaway Bride – 4
Smith and Jones – 5
The Shakespeare Code – 5
Gridlock – 4
Daleks in Manhattan & Evolution of the Daleks – 4
The Lazarus Experiment – 4
42 – 4
Human Nature & The Family of Blood – 5
Blink – 5
The Infinite Quest – 2
Utopia & The Sound of Drums & Last of the Time Lords – 5

Series Three (Revival Era) Average Rating: 4.3/5

 

As the Doctor Who universe continues to grow, the path for the Timestamps Project gets a little wibbly-wobbly. Next on the agenda is the first series of the Sarah Jane Adventures. We get back to Doctor Who for a brief moment with Time Crash and Voyage of the Damned, but then dive into the second series of Torchwood before returning to Donna Noble in Series Four.

We also have a rapidly approaching holiday season on the horizon.

Allons-y!

 

UP NEXT – Sarah Jane Adventures: Revenge of the Slitheen

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

Timestamp #193: Utopia & The Sound of Drums & Last of the Time Lords

Doctor Who: Utopia
Doctor Who: The Sound of Drums
Doctor Who: Last of the Time Lords
(3 episodes, s03e11-e13, 2007)

 

From the end of the universe to the end of the world.

 

Utopia

The TARDIS materializes on the Cardiff Rift in the modern day in order to refuel. They only expect to be there for twenty seconds, during which Martha and the Doctor discuss a little problem with the Slitheen on the Rift, and the Doctor almost avoids picking up an immortal hitch-hiker. Something propels the TARDIS to the year 100 trillion, at the very end of the universe, and Captain Jack Harkness is hanging on through time and space for the ride.

In that far future, a human hunt is underway by the Futurekind. Professor Yana and his assistant Chantho regret the event in motion, but they cannot spare the guards to save the lost soul. They are on a quest for a place called Utopia. When asked for a status report, Yana is unable to focus due to the sound of drums in his head.

They also detect a new arrival as the TARDIS touches down.

The Doctor is apprehensive – almost scared – since this place is farther than any Time Lord has gone before. (Remember that there was a rule among Time Lords that they shouldn’t travel beyond a certain time.) As they leave the TARDIS, they find Jack’s dead body. Luckily, he springs back to life. The Doctor dissuades Jack from hitting on Martha as they exchange tense pleasantries. Jack notes the Doctor’s new face and asks after Rose, relieved to know that she’s still alive.

As they explore, Jack shares his story with Martha as the Doctor criticizes his method of time travel. Jack used his vortex manipulator to bounce from the battle with the Daleks to Earth in 1869. From there, he waited for the Doctor to arrive, eventually settling on the Rift. Martha frets about being left behind like Jack was, but the Doctor focuses them back on their task. They have found a city (or hive) and the Doctor muses on the decline of the universe as it dies around them. They then spot the hunted human and rush to his aid.

Jack draws his revolver and fires warning shots into the air. The horde stops long enough for the travelers to set their sights on the Silo, a safe space for humanity. The Silo is also home to Yana’s lab, and he is excited to learn that a doctor (of everything) has arrived. As the humans in the Silo offer aid, the Doctor asks them to bring his TARDIS to the camp.

As they walk through the refugee camp, the Doctor praises the indomitable spirit of humanity. They also figure out (by almost falling to the bottom) that the Silo is a literal missile silo, home to a rocket to take people to Utopia.

Professor Yana finds the Doctor and puts him to work as a consultant, but the Time Lord doesn’t recognize any of it. Meanwhile, Martha finds out that Jack is carrying the Doctor’s discarded hand, prompting a discussion of the Doctor’s status as the last of the Time Lords. Chantho is also the last of her kind, and Martha is downright obsessed with the Doctor’s new hand.

She’s never seen him regenerate, so this is all new to her.

Yana introduces the Doctor to Utopia: A signal from the depths that calls to the last of the humans scattered across the night. The Doctor is intrigued but also concerned as the professor has another attack of the drums. He also recognizes that the rocket will not be able to fly, and with a wave of his sonic screwdriver the circuits are complete.

Humanity is ready to fly.

As the Futurekind watch from beyond the gates, the humans board the rocket. Martha talks briefly with the young child they met on their arrival, unaware of a Futurekind spy nearby. Meanwhile, the Doctor praises Yana’s work which he recognizes a system of “food and string and staples.” Yana reveals that he will be staying behind with Chantho, and the drums intensify as he sees the TARDIS on a nearby monitor.

As the Doctor uses the TARDIS to help make final launch preparations, he seems to recognize the professor’s symptoms. Meanwhile, Martha bonds with Chantho (who begins each sentence with “chan” and ends it with “tho”) before aiding the professor with monitoring a coupling room. The room is flooded with Stet radiation, but it also controls the gravity footprint on the ship.

While work proceeds in the coupling room, the Futurekind spy sabotages the system. As radiation rises, Jack jumpstarts the override by passing the current through himself. It kills him momentarily, but his resurrection proves useful as they need someone to go in and finish the work.

As Jack enters the flooded chamber, the Doctor reveals that he’s known about the immortality since the battle with the Daleks. Jack, a single person, is a fixed point in time. That’s something that should never happen. Rose’s power as the Bad Wolf gave him that gift. The Doctor asks him if he wants to die, and Jack says that he doesn’t know.

While Martha and Chantho monitor Jack’s progress, Yana’s internal drumbeat intensifies again as he learns about traveling in time and space. The discussion between the Doctor and Jack reverberates through Yana.

The Gallifrey theme (“This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home“) punctuates every step, but comes crashing to a stop as Yana produces a pocket watch. He’s had it since he was found as a child, and he’s never been able to open it.

Martha recognizes it. She goes to find the Doctor.

Jack finishes his work and the countdown commences. As they work, Martha tells the Doctor about the watch. The Doctor is shaken by this news because it means that he is not the last of his kind. But the perception filter is slipping. Familiar words and voices flit through Yana’s mind as the rocket lifts off, and he opens the watch.

Remember Boe’s last words: You are not alone. YANA.

Professor Yana is the Master.

He locks the Doctor’s team in the launch control room and opens the Silo to the Futurekind. The Doctor breaks out, but he’s too late to stop the Master from killing Chantho. The Master takes the disc regarding Utopia, puts the jar with the hand in the TARDIS, and disconnects the TARDIS from the laboratory. He takes a fatal gunshot from a mortally wounded Chantho before jumping into the capsule and locking the door.

The Doctor breaks into the lab and begs with him to let him in, but the Master takes the opportunity to regenerate. He taunts the Doctor with a voice that Martha recognizes, but despite the Doctor’s apology and attempt to stop him with the sonic screwdriver, the Master dematerializes with the TARDIS.

The travelers are stranded in the future and left to fight the invading Futurekind.

 

The Sound of Drums

The Doctor fixes the vortex manipulator and is able to jump the travelers to modern-day London. As Martha and Jack discuss how they’ll find the Master, they realize that they have arrived on the day after Election Day.

The Master has been elected Prime Minister, and his name is Harold Saxon.

On Saxon’s first day, he’s a little overwhelmed by the demands of the job, but he’s happy to have Martha’s sister Tish on his staff. His cabinet is dismayed by his odd behavior, particularly when he calls them all traitors.

He rewards their loyalty by killing them all with toxic gas.

Martha, Jack, and the Doctor retreat to Martha’s apartment to research Saxon. She’s stunned to realize that they’ve only been away for four days since she first met the Doctor, but the Master was able to use the TARDIS to change history for the duration of his campaign. All of it started after the downfall of Harriet Jones.

In a sense, the Doctor paved the way for the Master’s ascendancy.

Meanwhile, Vivien Rook of the Sunday Mirror tries to convince Lucy Saxon, Harold’s wife, that her husband is an imposter. She provides proof that his life is a forgery, starting only eighteen months before around the launch of the Archangel project. Lucy is faithful to her husband, however, and Rook ends up dead shortly thereafter by the hands of the Master’s death probes.

Lucy is beside herself that someone could put it all together, but Saxon reassures her that everything ends the next morning.

In Martha’s apartment, the Doctor reveals that he fused the TARDIS controls when the Master stole the capsule. It had no choice but to land eighteen months before their current location. The Doctor recognizes that Saxon’s campaign speeches were laced with the drumbeat, impregnating it in the minds of the electorate.

They watch as Saxon announces the arrival of the Toclafane, reassuring the viewers that this won’t be like the previous alien encounters – namely the destruction of Big Ben, the ghosts and Cybermen, and the Christmas Star – before cueing the Doctor that Martha’s apartment is boobytrapped (complete with a Magpie Electricals television set). They escape before it blows up, and Martha tries to warn her family that they are in danger. Saxon’s forces are faster, and her entire family is locked away while the travelers run.

The Master intercepts Martha’s call to her brother, and the Doctor takes the opportunity to talk with his friend and rival. The Doctor reveals the fate of Gallifrey. He also learns that the Master was resurrected by the Time Lords to fight in the Last Great Time War, but that he ran when the Dalek Emperor took the Cruciform and used a Chameleon Arch to become human.

The Master refuses the Doctor’s offer of help, showing the Doctor on television that he and his friends are now enemies of the state. He’s also dispatched Torchwood Three to the Himalayas on a wild goose chase. When he disconnects, the travelers have no choice but to run.

The Master is later contacted by one of the Toclafane – the spheres of death – demanding to know if the machine is ready. The Master says that it will be by the next morning, and despite the threat of the coming darkness from which the Toclafane must run, there’s nothing he can do to speed it up.

The Doctor, Martha, and Jack hide in an abandoned warehouse. While snacking on takeaway chips, they discuss the origins of the Master. The Doctor speaks highly of the known image of Gallifrey. At the age of eight, initiates are taken to look upon a gap in the fabric of reality known as the Untempered Schism, a window into the temporal vortex. It inspired the Doctor to run but it probably drove the Master mad.

Jack reveals that he works for Torchwood, but promises that he rebuilt it from the ashes of the old, corrupt regime. He downloads a video sent to Torchwood about the Archangel Network, a new phone service that the Master controls. The carrier wave is the sound of drums, whispering to the world to trust the Master. The Doctor devises perception filters for three TARDIS keys, one for each of them. He also reveals that Time Lords can detect other Time Lords, even through regenerations.

The team moves from the warehouse as Air Force One delivers President Arthur Winters to London. The President orders Saxon to cede control to UNIT and is dismayed by the Prime Minister’s childish antics. The President has arranged for first contact on the USS Valiant, a UNIT aircraft carrier. The travelers watch the goings-on from the side of the runway, and the Master is suspicious but overall unaware. Martha is upset to see her family paraded on the tarmac, and the Doctor reinforces that he wants to save the Master, not kill him. They use the vortex manipulator to travel to the Valiant, where they discover that it is an aircraft carrier in the sky.

As morning dawns, the Master prepares for the first contact meeting while eating jelly babies. The travelers find the TARDIS, but subdued lighting and the Cloister Bell alert the Doctor that something is wrong. It has been configured to be a paradox machine, set to go off at 8:02 AM.

But the Doctor has a plan.

They sneak into the meeting room, intent on putting a key around the Master’s neck and canceling his perception filter. The first contact begins, but the Toclafane specifically (by name) request to see the Master. Saxon reveals himself as the Master and assassinates the President. The Doctor is taken into custody before the Master kills Jack with a laser screwdriver.

The Master uses the Lazarus experiment and the Doctor’s genetic code (courtesy of the hand in a jar) to advance the Doctor a century in age. He then brings in Martha’s family for the main event.

A crack tears open in the sky above the carrier as six billion Toclafane emerge and start murdering humans without prejudice. Ten percent are killed immediately. Martha takes one last look at her friends and family before using the vortex manipulator to teleport away. She emerges on the planet below and runs into hiding, promising to return.

Until then, the Master has won.

So it came to pass that the human race fell and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all. And I thought it good.

 

Last of the Time Lords

It’s been one year since the invasion of the Toclafane. The planet Earth has been quarantined as it enters its final extinction. Martha, still fighting the good fight, is traveling the world. She just returned home to find Professor Alison Docherty, and her liaison Tom Milligan believes the legend that she can save the world.

On the carrier Valiant, the Master is still riding high as lord of the planet. He treats the Doctor like a pet dog, Martha’s family like slaves, Jack an eternal prisoner, and his wife like an abused plaything. He also knows that the Doctor has worked out who the Toclafane are, and that the epiphany has broken his hearts.

The Doctor sends Francine a signal – the number three – which she passes along. Meanwhile, Martha and Tom come across a field of thousands of spaceships, ready to wage war with the universe. They are challenged by the Tocalafane, but Tom is a doctor and Martha still has her perception filter.

On the Valiant, the prisoners revolt at 3:00pm as planned. In the chaos, the Doctor gets ahold of the Master’s laser screwdriver but can’t operate it due to isomorphic controls keyed to the Master alone. Martha’s family is locked up, Jack is killed (again), and the Doctor is back to being taunted in a leather chair.

The taunting includes mentions of The Sea Devils, The Claws of Axos, and something about closing the rift at the Medusa Cascade.

Martha and Tom find Professor Docherty. She tunes into a broadcast from the Master during which he ages the Doctor through his entire lifespan regardless of regenerations. The now thousand-year-old form of the Doctor has withered into a being unable to fit his own clothes, but Martha finds hope in the fact that he still lives.

Docherty says that the Archangel Network is continuously broadcasting a fear signal to the planet, keeping the humans in line. Martha produces a disc with information about one Toclafane sphere that was destroyed in a lightning strike and using that data they experiment on a sphere.

The Master and Lucy visit the Doctor, contained in a birdcage suspended from the ceiling, and tell him that they will launch a fleet through a hole in the Braccatolian space. He will only stop when there is a new Gallifrey in the heavens, and that the Doctor should be proud. After all, he’s doing this for the Toclafane, which the Doctor loves very, very much.

The Toclafane that Martha experiments on is the orphan kid from the end of the universe. The whole race is built from the humans who were launched toward Utopia. The Master took Lucy there and discovered them, transformed into the spheres, regressing into children. There was no Utopia. Just death.

The TARDIS, the paradox machine, keeps the fabric of time in place while the Toclafane exist.

Docherty asks Martha if the legends are true. She shows them a gun developed by Torchwood and UNIT that supposedly halts regeneration and kills a Time Lord permanently. She needs one last chemical component, apparently housed at an old UNIT base. After Martha and Tom leave for a safehouse, Docherty transmits Martha’s location to the Master in exchange for information about the professor’s son.

As Martha tells the assembled survivors in the safehouse about the Doctor, the Master comes for Martha. He flushes her out by threatening the survivors around her. He destroys the anti-regeneration gun, kills Milligan when he defends her, and takes Martha back to the carrier to kill her in front of the Doctor.

At the moment of her execution, the moment when the fleet is due to launch, Martha starts to laugh. The gun was a ruse since the Doctor would never endorse her killing the Master. Instead, the weapon was the story of the Doctor. If the world thinks of one word at the same moment within the Archangel Network’s telepathic field, it would restore the world.

The word: “Doctor.”

The world turns against the Master and the Doctor is restored, having spent the year integrating himself into the network. The power of his restoration is so strong that the laser screwdriver is useless against him. The Doctor corners the Master and shatters his world with one phrase: “I forgive you.”

Which is better than the Master’s actual fear concerning the Doctor.

The Master rallies the Toclafane to protect the Paradox Machine, then teleports the two Time Lords to the planet below using Jack’s vortex manipulator. The Master threatens to detonate the Toclafane, each with a black hole converter capable of destroying the Earth.

Meanwhile, the humans on the Valiant defend the ship against the Toclafane assault. Just as Jack destroys the paradox device, the Doctor manages to teleport himself and the Master back to the Valiant. The previous year is reversed to the point just after the President of the United States was assassinated. Everyone on the Valiant will remember the year that never was, but the rest of the universe will not.

The Master is apprehended, but Francine threatens to kill him. The Doctor stops her and decides to keep the Master on the TARDIS. Unfortunately, the plan is destroyed when Lucy shoots the Master. He collapses in the Doctor’s arms, but faced with the prospect of being locked away forever in the TARDIS with the Doctor, he refuses to regenerate.

Once again, the Doctor is the last of the Time Lords. The drumming stops. The Master is dead.

The Doctor’s raw fury and sorrow resonate thanks to David Tennant’s wonderful acting talent.

Later, the Doctor cremates the Master’s remains, ensuring that no one can harvest the Time Lord’s DNA. Martha finds Docherty and forgives her, even though the professor has no idea what’s going on. Martha and Jack say their farewells – Jack loses his ability to use the vortex manipulator – and Jack inadvertently reveals his nickname from his home on the Boeshane Peninsula: The Face of Boe.

The looks of simultaneous shock and amusement on Martha’s and the Doctor’s faces are incredible.

The Doctor prepares to leave, complete with the hand in a jar. All that’s left is Martha Jones. Unfortunately for the Doctor, Martha takes her leave of the TARDIS. She can’t continue on with all those people left for her to care for. She gives the Doctor her phone number, reminding the Time Lord that she’s not second best, and finally reveals her unrequited feelings for him. She makes him promise to come running if she needs him, and steps out of the TARDIS one last time.

The Doctor dematerializes the TARDIS, alone once again, unaware that the Master’s signet ring has been taken by unknown forces. But the moment is broken when a ship crashes through the TARDIS walls.

Her name is Titanic.

 

This trilogy of episodes earns every bit of the high ratings, from the drama and the effects to the characters that bind the whole thing together. Oh, the look on Francine Jones’s face when she realized that she had been used this whole time to get to the Doctor and Martha.

In terms of the overall franchise, this is a return to classic form. This is the first three-part story since Survival (the last story of the classic era). If you count the Torchwood episodes, this is the first story with more than four parts since The Armageddon Factor (or Shada, had it been fully completed and aired).

We also get the first appearance in the revival era of the Doctor’s best friend and nemesis, the Master. The callbacks to the classic era are a welcome addition with lines from Roger Delgado (prominent through the Third Doctor’s era and last seen in Frontier in Space) and trademark laughter from Anthony Ainley (who took up the role in The Keeper of Traken and carried it all the way to Survival). It’s worth noting that Eric Roberts (the Master from the TV movie) gave his permission to include his voice, but Fox refused.

The Roger Delgado lines were doubled by Sir Derek Jacobi (Professor Yana), who previously appeared in Scream of the Shalka as an alternative version of the Master. After this performance and the 50th anniversary televised special, he also worked with Big Finish to tell the story of his Master during the Time War.

The Master’s heritage was also on display with John Simm’s costumes, from the black single-breasted suit, white shirt, and black tie ensemble (from Planet of Fire) to a Pertwee nod (black overcoat with red satin lining) and the trademark evil Time Lord black leather gloves. The young Master also wore an outift similar to the Time Lords in The War Games.

Doctor Who mythology also makes a couple of debuts here.

First, we get to see Gallifreyan children on screen. Sure, we’ve heard about time tots before – lest we forget the tales of röntgen-bricks in the nursery – but the youngest Gallifreyan we had ever seen was Susan, and she was 15 during An Unearthly Child.

We also get introduced to the concept that regenerations are far more controllable than we saw from Romana in Destiny of the Daleks. The Master bypasses the Doctor’s regenerations to artificially age him – this is certainly not a new trick for either the Doctor or the Master – and he also willingly halts the process after being shot by Lucy. We will see this crop up again in the future.

The Ninth Doctor’s dark line – “I win, how ’bout that?” – also echoes from beyond Dalek as the Master (supposedly) dies.

I previously mentioned the majestic Gallifrey theme, which can be found on YouTube, but Murray Gold was also on fire with the haunting “Martha’s Theme” and the purely energetic “All the Strange, Strange Creatures” throughout this story. The use of modern pop music (also as digetic music) was fun, including “Voodoo Child” by the Rogue Traders – “So here it comes/the sound of drums/Here come the drums here come the drums…” – and “I Can’t Decide” by the Scissor Sisters.

Basically pulling out all the stops, as they should for the last full-time adventure with Martha Jones, an exemplary hero and companion. She saved the day, and (in my eyes) is better than Rose Tyler ever was.

 

 

Rating: 5/5 – “Fantastic!”

 

UP NEXT – Series Three Summary

 

 

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.