Timestamp #293: Resolution

January 31, 2024July 29, 2024 Michael Falkner4 Comments

Conquest in 9376 rels. However long that is.

In the 9th century, three tribes of people came together to destroy a creature beyond their nightmares. Victorious, three Custodians split the creature into three pieces and hid them in distant places: Anuta Island, Siberia, and Yorkshire. Unfortunately, the Custodian in England was killed by thieves in Sheffield. His fragment remained unguarded for over 1000 years.

On New Year’s Day, 2019, archaeologists Lin and Mitch excavate a site in Sheffield. They discuss their kiss at a party the night before, eventually leading to a promise to make plans later. They discover a mysterious object near a skeleton’s hand and are excited that this may be the key to unlocking the mysteries behind the supposed Battle of Hope Valley.

They pair chat, and while they’re distracted the bag begins to move. Meanwhile, on Anuta Island and in Siberia, the current Custodians watch as their shrines begin to act strangely. Once uncovered, the remaining two packages teleport away.

In the TARDIS, the fam is making the rounds through time and space to different New Year’s Eve celebrations. With nineteen down and a twentieth to go, the TARDIS warns the Doctor that an extraterrestrial threat is descending on Sheffield.

Time to go to work!

The TARDIS materializes as a tentacled being escapes from the archaeological sample bags. Lin finds the creature – a Dalek mutant! – but it disappears before the newly arrived Doctor can see it. She analyzes the slime that it left behind and quarantines the site. Lin and Mitch make plans to meet up later, but Lin starts to act funny once she reaches her car.

The Doctor takes team TARDIS to Graham and Ryan’s house. After breaking Graham’s chair, the Doctor scrounges up kitchen supplies to sequence the slime proteins. Ryan’s father arrives, but the reception is quite frosty. Ryan gives Aaron the benefit of the doubt and takes his father for coffee, but not before Graham takes him aside for some choice words about his failings.

Lin returns home and we find out that she’s been taken over by the Dalek. It gloats about being able to control her body and brain, and it forces her to access UNIT archives to learn about Earth’s capabilities and defenses. Lin tries to fight back, but the Dalek is too strong. Meanwhile, the Doctor figures out what they’re dealing with and explains the threat to Graham and Yaz.

The Dalek takes Lin for a joyride. While driving her car at over 100 miles per hour, they are pulled over by the police, but the Dalek easily dispatches the police officers. Lin steals a uniform and the police car, leaving the officers on the road.

In the café, Aaron reveals his new profession to his son as he tries to sell a microwave oven to the owner. Unfortunately, Aaron’s not good at sales and is considering oil rig work again. Ryan gets angry and explains how lonely, abandoned, and lost he has felt without Aaron’s presence in his life. Aaron realizes that he’s made a lot of bad choices but he promises not to hide from the truth anymore.

Yaz calls Mitch as she tries to track down Lin. The Doctor traces the phone call, materializes the TARDIS right next to him, and welcomes him aboard. After a brief “bigger on the inside” moment, Mitch explains the Three Custodians and the ancient battle with the Dalek. Once the Doctor makes the connection between the Dalek and Lin, she locates them in the same place. Ryan returns to the TARDIS and stows the microwave in the corner. The Doctor tries to get a read on the Dalek, but it jams the scans and shorts the system. The Doctor realizes that this is a reconnaissance scout, one of the first to leave Skaro and reach Earth.

Lin and the Dalek reach the MDZ Research security archives in Yorkshire and kill the security guard. There they find a Dalek gunstick and try to leave, but the Doctor connects with the Dalek and speaks to it, confirming that it is a recon scout. When the Dalek laughs at the Doctor’s message, she summons a hologram of Lin so they can see face-to-face. She uses Mitch as a lifeline to Lin, reboots the navigation systems, and speeds off to meet the intruder.

Of course, this leaves Aaron and Graham alone in the latter’s living room. Graham takes advantage of the situation by having a more civil discussion with Aaron. Grace was proud of him, and she kept a large box of things about him, including artifacts from his childhood.

The Dalek stymies the navigation trace, so the Doctor tries to use traffic cameras and CCTV to track it. When that doesn’t work, she tries to call Kate Stewart at UNIT, but budget cuts have resulted in UNIT being temporarily shut down.

Lin and the Dalek end up at a farm workshop where they kill the owner and start welding parts together. As Lin begins to tire, she fights back against the Dalek, opening the door for the Doctor to find her. When the TARDIS arrives, the Dalek has separated from Lin, leaving her weak but alive. The Doctor sends her companions back to the TARDIS while she confronts the Dalek, now encased in a custom mobile casing. It’s not perfect by any means, sporting a claw arm and recycled Earth metal, and this provides a chance for the Doctor to jam the gunstick signals and talk. When the Doctor identifies herself, it overrides the block and shoots at her. It misses but declares that it has everything it needs to conquer Earth before launching out of the warehouse and into the sky.

The Doctor fires up the TARDIS again, making a quick detour to pick up Aaron and Graham while Lin recovers. Aaron is beside himself, but he gets a chance to contribute when the Doctor uses his microwave oven to build a defense.

The Dalek lands in an open area and encounters the British Army. It makes short work of them with the gunstick and missiles under the casing’s domes. It then launches for GCHQ, the center of all British communications. Once there, it wreaks havoc before diverting all possible power toward Skaro, including Wi-Fi, phone signals, and internet. The Doctor arrives with the TARDIS shields on full, offering an ultimatum to the Dalek. When the Dalek refuses, the Doctor springs their plan into action, attaching the microwave pieces to the shell and explosively melting it down.

The reconnaissance signal wasn’t sent, but the Dalek isn’t done yet. It has attached itself to Aaron and forces the Doctor to take it to the Dalek fleet. Everyone boards the TARDIS and the Doctor sets course for the fleet, but she has instead taken them to a supernova. When she opens the doors, she creates a vacuum corridor and tries to send the Dalek into the star. Ryan rushes for his father, risking everything to save him while telling him that he loves him. The Dalek loses control and falls into the supernova. Everyone is now safe.

Later on, the TARDIS returns to the underground dig site in Sheffield. Lin and Mitch return to their lives, and Aaron turns down a trip in the TARDIS. Ryan promises to call him when he gets back.

The TARDIS and her crew set sail once again… destination everywhere.

This story did what the previous one did not: Provided a good season finale. It has a lot of good family details, closing the loop on Ryan and his father along with showing the healing relationship between Ryan and Graham.

The TARDIS console room is a bit brighter, even though it’s the same set that we’ve seen all season. It primes us a little bit for the slightly more fleshed-out set we’ll see next time. The Doctor also gets a new accessory with her winter scarf, a real-world design that sold out pretty quickly after this episode aired, but clever fans have interpreted it on Etsy and Ravelry. It’s a great choice for Thirteen’s bubbly personality.

This episode moves fast – too fast in some places – and wraps up far too quickly. The latter is a Chibnall trademark when it comes to episodic work. That ending also includes a statement that “The Doctor will return”. With the power of hindsight, we could say that it was setting the stage for Spyfall‘s James Bond-inspired homage, but it’s more likely that this was setting audience expectations.

After all, the next Doctor Who adventure wouldn’t arrive for a full year.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Series Eleven Summary

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

Timestamp #292: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos

January 24, 2024July 29, 2024 Michael Falkner3 Comments

Tim comes full circle.

On the planet Ranskoor Av Kolos, a woman named Andinio and a man named Delph practice telekinesis. Andinio is testing Delph’s potential when a crackle of blue energy breaks Delph’s concentration. Nearby, a figure stumbles in an attempt to stand.

3,407 years later, the TARDIS detects nine separate distress signals from Ranskoor Av Kolos, as well as psychotropic waves that can scramble brains and make people paranoid and irrational. With the help of neural balancers, the Doctor and her team touch down inside a ship. They find a scared man with a gun and, despite the Doctor’s calm introduction, the man irrationally repeats himself. The Doctor offers him a neural balancer, after which the man calms down and discusses his missing memories. He does remember his last name, though: Paltraki. The Doctor determines that the ship is parked instead of crashed.

Team TARDIS finds out that Paltraki is the ship’s commander. Their research is interrupted by an incoming transmission bearing a summons from the Creator. The same message also reveals that Tzim-Sha is holding Paltraki’s crew hostage. The Stenza kills one of the crew, a woman named Umsang, and cuts the signal. He wants an item that Paltraki stole, a crystal structure containing a rapidly vibrating object. The Doctor can’t scan the crystal object but resolves to stop Tzim-Sha from causing any more senseless violence. She outfits her team with throat microphones and they all set out.

Along the way, Graham tells the Doctor that he plans to kill Tzim-Sha in retaliation for Grace’s death. The Doctor tells him that he won’t be able to travel with her any longer if he does. Graham remains resolved to seek revenge.

The group arrives at a large hovering object Paltraki calls the temple. The Doctor provides the group with gear from Paltraki’s ship, including grenades for breaking inanimate objects. She attaches a grenade with a dead man’s switch to the crystal and finds a way inside the temple. After that, she sends Graham and Ryan to find the hostages, and Yaz and Paltraki to find more crystals. She sets out to find Tzim-Sha.

Graham tries to rationalize his desire to kill Tzim-Sha to Ryan, but their debate is cut short by a sniper-bot ambush. They duck in time to watch the snipers cut each other down, then run off. Elsewhere, the Doctor finds Andinio. The woman holds her at gunpoint and demands the crystal, but the Doctor is amazed to find out that Andinio is an Ux. She also wonders why an Ux is working for Tzim-Sha. Full of doubt, Andinio decides to take the Doctor before the Stenza.

Tzim-Sha is unimpressed by the Doctor’s new look, revealing that they last met 3,407 years ago. He tells Andinio to get ready before revealing his face to the Doctor. The DNA bombs corrupted his teleport device and banished him to this planet. Unable to leave, he was kept alive by the Ux, who treated him as a god. It gave him time to plan revenge against the Doctor and the worlds that opposed the Stenza.

Yaz and Paltraki get to know each other before they find sniper-bots and a room containing the crystals. As the last fleet, Paltraki’s crew was tasked by the Congress of the Nine Planets in response to a set of atrocities. Yaz calls the Doctor with news of their discovery just before Andinio arrives before a captive Delph, channeling his powers to make the temple into a weapon.

By the way, the crystals contain literal planets. The weapon captures the planets, and Tzim-Sha has set his sights on Earth.

The Doctor runs to the crystal chamber and learns this news. Angry, she demands that Tzim-Sha stop his genocidal quest, convinced that the technology is unstable and could kill everyone. Paltraki heads for the ship while the Doctor and Yaz try to stop the Stenza’s plan.

Ryan and Graham find a room full of people in stasis. While they develop a plan to save them all, Ryan persuades Graham with his love and Grace’s life lessons. The sniper-bots attack while they work, and Tzim-Sha is alerted to their rescue operation so he stomps on down there. Paltraki destroys the snipers and leads the hostages to safety while Graham covers them.

Balancing the 7 billion lives on Earth against their own, the Doctor and Yaz use their neural balancers on the Ux to disrupt the Stenza’s signals. Earth is saved from oblivion and Andinio’s faith in Tzim-Sha is shattered. The crystals begin to fracture, and as the Doctor declares that the Ux are the true creators, she summons the TARDIS using Stenza technology.

Tzim-Sha arrives at his trophy room. Graham draws down on him with a sniper-bot rifle but chooses to be the better man. As Ryan returns and draws the Stenza’s attention, Graham shoots the warrior in the foot. The two humans load the still-alive Tzim-Sha into one of his own trophy cases, telling him to remember the name Grace while he contemplates eternity in stasis.

The Doctor ties the power of the TARDIS into the Stenza devices, using the telepathic circuits to channel the Ux’s powers and restore the planets to their proper places. It’s a painful process but it restores balance to the universe.

With all said and done, the Doctor commends Graham for his strength in mercy. Meanwhile, Delph decides that the Ux must be part of the greater universal civilization. They lock the temple so that no one can reach the Stenza outcast, and the Doctor bids farewell with a message: Travel hopefully.

It’s well known that showrunner Chris Chibnall was disappointed in this story, particularly since it was filmed as a first draft. From a 2022 interview in Doctor Who Magazine:

Particularly in that first series, I spent a lot of time helping other writers. We had some problems towards the end and I had to go back and do some big rewrites, which meant that the version of episode 10 [The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos] that we filmed was a first draft. But I just didn’t have time to do a second draft. It didn’t feel enough like a season finale, and that was entirely down to time.

This is surprising because this script felt like it had a lot more character body than most of the other stories so far in the season. For example, the Doctor’s astonished excitement at meeting the Ux was for more engaging than meeting the Solitract. I was also sold on the dialogue between Ryan and Graham far more than their other interactions this season. Related, the fact that this duo decided to imprison Tzim-Sha instead of killing him says a lot about their journey.

The other big up-rating for this story is the plot to steal planets. Sure, it’s a rehash of The Pirate Planet and The Stolen Earth, but it’s definitely a Doctor Who and pulpy sci-fi plot. That makes it exciting and fun.

Sadly, that’s where the praise ends for this adventure. It’s a confusing story with interwoven timelines and convenient plot devices. The stasis chambers, for example, contained the crews of all nine ships, but the dialogue doesn’t really explain much to make this revelation worthwhile. The story provided lip service to the other ships but our attention was focused on Paltraki and his crew. It also makes little sense for Tzim-Sha to hold those crews as trophies when he deliberately killed targets in The Woman Who Fell to Earth and took their teeth.

The ending is also pretty lackluster. I mean, Chibnall routinely ties a quick bow on stories without making it feel like a good payoff, but this season finale ends with “travel hopefully” and a wave. Even he was displeased with that effort.

Rating: 3/5 – “Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: Resolution

Culture on My Mind – Narrative Diversions (Autumn and Post-Strike 2023 Edition)

January 19, 2024January 17, 2024 Michael FalknerLeave a comment

Culture on My Mind
Narrative Diversions
(Autumn and Post-Strike 2023 Edition)
January 19, 2024

Narrative Diversions is a look at the various pop culture things I’ve been watching, reading, and playing over the last few months. This edition will also cover the movies and television that I did not detail in the Summer 2023 edition due to the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes.

Movies
Summer 2023

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) – PG
I will admit that I was skeptical about this movie because the history of video game movies has been so tumultuous. As I mentioned when I looked at the history of Mario’s voice in film, television, and games, it’s only in recent years that video game movies really started to take off.

The thing about this one is that everyone at the helm gets what makes Mario tick. This was a delight from start to finish. It was a pure celebration of the joy in the Mario franchise. The story clips along without being weighed down by the legacy, and it is chock full of easter eggs and references that make me want to watch this again and again.

It also gives me hope for future Nintendo properties at the theater, including The Legend of Zelda and Metroid.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) – PG-13
I know that it’s en vogue to dog on Disney and the legacy of Lucasfilm. I don’t do that here. I don’t have a slavish devotion to the brands by any means, but seeing their names on the screen doesn’t turn me into one of those rabid angry fanboys that you find on YouTube.

I’ve been a fan of the franchise since a friend of mine introduced me to Raiders of the Lost Ark in the ’90s. He had it playing in the background while we chatted and I was transfixed by the monkey who stole items. The dialogue still sticks in my mind today when I think of Jacob: “Bad dates.” I caught up on the films and the Young Indiana Jones series later on, and had my first theatrical experience with Indy while on deployment with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Silver screen-biased memories aside, I still enjoy that film. While fans find the inclusion of mind-reading aliens hiding in El Dorado to be a step too far, I consider it on par with hunting mystical artifacts with religious pasts. If the cult-like fandom surrounding Giorgio A. Tsoukalos has taught us anything, religious devotion comes in all flavors.

That same out-there sense of wonder combined with a healthy suspension of disbelief allowed me to enjoy a time travel tale based around another religious artifact. It also helps that Dial of Destiny is a story about taking care of loved ones in their twilight years. We all get older, be it through years or mileage, and I found this story to be a beautiful swan song for a Gen X action hero.

Dancing Queens (2021) – TV-MA [Netflix]
I won’t be as verbose about this one. It’s the standard dubbed European dancing film, but this time it also plays with drag queens.

(Somewhere in the bowels of Florida, someone just got triggered and that makes me smile.)

It’s the standard Cinderella story with hidden identities, the runaway revelation moment, and a happy ending where everyone wins. But it also made me laugh quite often with its flamboyant charm. It’s worth the 110 minutes.

Plus One at an Amish Wedding (2022) – NR
This was another random find on Netflix, but it comes more from the “faith and family” side of things. Thankfully, it never got preachy. Instead, it’s a squeaky-clean lather-rinse-and-repeat of the bog-standard romantic comedy formula. The characters had chemistry and it was engaging enough to keep my attention for 90 minutes.

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (2023) – PG-13
There is a lot of discourse around the idea of “superhero fatigue” these days, but this Guardians installment tells me that people aren’t tired of superhero fare. They just want it to be meaningful and engaging.

Think about it: Marvel’s Phases Four and Five have been bifurcated messes split across the cinema and paywalled streaming-only television series. Meanwhile, DC Comics has thrown a lot of money into CGI-amplified slugfests that were sabotaged by the announcement of an impending reboot. Yet we still have successes with Spider-Man, WandaVision, Loki, What If…?, and others.

People want engaging stories. The fatigue comes from being asked to accept whatever the studios want to throw at us.

(Yes, I know that I didn’t mention anything from DC Comics in my successes category. First, my lists don’t always align with the zeitgeist. In fact, some of my favorites from Marvel’s recent phases would have the internet legions of doom demanding my fandom membership card… if I actually believed in such tripe. Second, I haven’t been really excited about anything from DC/Warner Bros. since Stargirl, Superman and Lois, and 2020’s Birds of Prey.)

I find Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 in the successes pile. It finds our heroes at a major inflection point as they all go on personal journeys and end up saving the galaxy one more time. It was a tear-jerker and I didn’t even notice the film’s length because I was so engaged with the story and the journey. I know that this was the last hurrah for a few of the actors in this team, and I will certainly miss this dysfunctional family.

The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society (2018) – TV-14 [Netflix]
It was the name that drew my wife to this one. It was a beautiful romantic drama that took us on a rollercoaster of emotion from tears to laughter as a World War II survivor tries to find herself as an author in London. Fate draws her to the quirky crew of a book club on Guernsey where she unravels a mystery that helps everyone involved heal from their traumas.

The Whale (2022) – R

This is not a feel-good movie. In fact, it doesn’t pull any punches in its raw portrayals of grief, guilt, and mortality. Brendan Fraser’s performance was amazing as the chronically obese Charlie, a college professor who is self-destructive in his contemplation of his faults. Despite being an English teacher, he fails at communication even though that is his path to ultimate redemption with the people that he’s hurt and wronged. I was nearly brought to tears in the moments when his entire support structure eroded beneath him, leaving him bare and alone with his self-destructive nature.

I also need to mention Sadie Sink, who I recognize best from Stranger Things, and her great performance as Charlie’s estranged daughter Ellie. At one point her mother says that Ellie is simply evil, but the truth emerges in the end that she’s just as traumatized as her father.

The Beanie Bubble (2023) – R [Apple TV]

Based on real events and adapted from Zac Bissonnette’s book The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: The Amazing Story of How America Lost Its Mind Over a Plush Toy—and the Eccentric Genius Behind It, this colorful dramatization of Ty Warner and his brand is funny but not stuffy like a historical drama could easily be. In fact, the main players other than Warner are presented under pseudonyms, almost giving the story a fantasy element that accompanies its disjointed nature as it bounces around in time. I’m not a huge fan of Zach Galifianakis, but Elizabeth Banks is a favorite in our household and her energy was infectious. The movie was an entertaining way to spend date night.

Movies
Autumn 2023

The Little Mermaid (2023) – PG
There was a lot of tempest in the teapot over this live-action remake from a certain sector of the internet, but based on the scores half a year later, it seems that the “anti-woke” campaign fell flat.

Indeed, no version of The Little Mermaid will ever compare to the spectacle of the 1989 animated masterpiece, but this one has heart of its own. Halle Bailey does phenomenal work as Ariel, bringing the character’s wide-eyed innocence to the spotlight with her own unique flair. The other standout performance was Melissa McCarthy as Ursula as she channeled Pat Carroll and Divine while adding her special touch to the character.

It’s a beat-for-beat copy of the original Disney adaptation with some new musical numbers, but the performances and minor changes do enough to set it apart and allow it to breathe. I really enjoyed the movie. I also have to laugh at the detractors who thought that calling back to the source material was enough to justify their stand against a woman of color playing the title role. The original story was first published in 1837 by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen. While the country is diverse today, Denmark is historically noted by fair-skinned people with blue eyes and blonde hair. Of course, a story written by a Danish man for Danish children is going to represent the norms of the culture. The argument that a woman of color can’t play the character today is silly at best.

Note how the detractors didn’t fully embrace the source material, which is quite dark, and offered the little mermaid a chance at a good life in exchange for killing the prince. Spoiler: She refuses and dies, becoming an immortal spirit instead. The spirit element holds true for the historical mythology of Black mermaids as well, as explained by Professor Jalondra Davis.

Also worth noting? Disney has included diverse characters in this franchise since the early ’90s. Most notably, Gabriella was a mute mermaid who communicated by sign language.

As always, the “anti-woke” crowd can go pound sand.

Elemental (2023) – PG
This movie flew under the radar, but it is a wonderful tale about immigration, work, and love. It’s a personal story for director Peter Sohn, and while it meanders a bit, it’s still quite touching and beautiful overall.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) – R
I have a soft spot for this increasingly ridiculous action franchise, but this is a good place to let it rest. As the creative team continued to amp up the threats to super-assassin John Wick, they also increased his seeming invulnerability leading to several points in this movie that challenged my suspension of disbelief. Given the ending of this film (and the negative reviews from my friends of the current spinoffs), I’m happy to leave this story behind and wait for the next creative venture for Keanu Reeves.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) – PG
I was highly impressed with this sequel. It improves on the first movie in nearly every way, including the graphics and the characterizations. I also loved the ratcheting tension as the mystery gets unraveled, especially including the massive multiverse chase with all of those Spider-Beings. The cliffhanger that sets up Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse truly works, and I’m eager to see how they wrap this up.

Haunted Mansion (2023) – PG-13
It’s a greatest-hits version of the famous Magic Kingdom ride with additional humor and loads of CGI. The villain is a character with very little screen time in the actual ride, but I felt like it worked with this typical Disney joyride. The story does flounder a little bit in the third quarter, but it wraps up just fine with the normal Disney happy ending. It’s kind of shallow but still fun.

A Man Called Otto (2022) – PG-13
Tom Hanks plays the “grumpiest man in America” and the audience grows to realize that there’s always a path to understanding people. This was a hard movie to watch because it doesn’t pull any punches with triggering situations, but it is a fascinating look into grief and love. It had us in tears by the end of the film.

The Flash (2023) – PG-13
Warner Bros. put Batgirl through the shredder for this steaming hot mess of a film. The Flash doesn’t know what kind of tone it wants to maintain. It bounces from whimsical slapstick (including a hospital rescue with some of the worst CGI I have seen) to serious drama (with the bog standard time travel trope of going mad while trying to make history absolutely perfect).

Ezra Miller started this tale at a disadvantage with me. They have enjoyed considerable clemency from WB regarding their numerous arrests and accusations of grooming and abuse because of the studio investment in this Elseworlds retelling of Man of Steel, and it highlights the differences between Warner’s DC films and Disney/Marvel’s cinematic universe. Miller never recovered from that disadvantage, and I never found a reason to care about this film or its place in the superhero genre. Especially since WB had already announced that their DCEU was coming to an end before this one premiered.

Michael Keaton was fine in this story, though I wonder how his character would have been different/better in Batgirl. The 1990s Batcave was beautiful. I adored the new vision for Supergirl, and it is a shame that Sasha Calle won’t get to don the cape again. The Bat-cameo at the end made me laugh out loud.

Those were the highlights. I can’t find anything redeeming about the rest of this bloated and meandering mess.

Barbie (2023) – PG-13
The polar opposite of The Flash in character development and analysis of the human condition, this film was a hit in our house. It doesn’t pull any punches as a tribute to the legacy of Barbie that explores both good and bad parts of the doll’s history. It also packs a good deal of bold social commentary while taking a meta approach to how role play with the brand intersects with real life. It was well-written and well-directed.

No Hard Feelings (2023) – R
This Jennifer Lawrence vehicle certainly tried, but it couldn’t shake the ick factor that hung around its neck. The entire premise (which feels like it was ripped from the pages of an ’80s/’90s/’00s teen sex romp) revolves around a 32-year-old woman posing as a twenty-something hired by a 19-year-old high school grad’s parents to help him have sex before going to college. Her payment is a used car, which she can then use to make ends meet.

Yeah, it’s as creepy as it sounds.

There’s a slight bit of redemption in the final act, but Lawrence’s character never comes across as endearing or appealing. There’s even full-frontal nudity meshed with a strange fight scene on the beach. It’s friggin’ weird, man.

The positive is that the cast truly had a ball making this comedy, and it shows in their performances. I just couldn’t get past the ick factor. Watch it if you have an hour and forty-five to kill, but otherwise, just fire up one of your favorite ’80s-’00s high school sex comedies instead.

The Marvels (2023) – PG-13
There are a lot of reasons why this Marvel entry failed at the box office, including the Hollywood strikes that prevented Marvel’s typical publicity blitz and the political backlashes against Disney and female-driven fare. But if you look at the reactions from people who actually went to the film, it’s apparent that quality is not the problem.

I loved this title, from the chemistry among the three lead women to the short, tightly-paced runtime. This film is swimming in personality and joy, and it was able to tell its story without being too saddled with the MCU’s history.

The negativity being dumped on this film comes from the typical ass-end of the internet that hates everything about women in comic books, Brie Larson overall, and anything “woke” (which they have trouble defining beyond buzzwords). If you’re a Marvel fan, I highly recommend this film. Our group had a ball with it, and it ranks among the top of Marvel’s cinematic offerings for 2023. Judge it on what you see, not on what some YouTuber with an agenda (who might not have even seen the film) has to say.

Best. Christmas. Ever! (2023) – TV-PG [Netflix]
No. It’s. Not!

Okay, look: Heather Graham, Brandy Norwood, and Jason Biggs give their all for this movie, but it cannot overcome the schmaltzy script and contrived plot devices. There are moments of humor driven by the child actors, but the rest failed its overall potential.

It’s the very definition of cheesy Christmas movie, but even my cheesy Christmas movie-loving wife had a hard time making it through 82 minutes.

Family Switch (2023) – PG [Netflix]
The “Freaky Friday” Flip is a well-worn trope, and this iteration combines it with the ever-popular Dysfunctional Family trope to help everyone learn a lesson from Rita Moreno. The actors all do great work, both in their own roles and their swapped roles. The only dodgy combination (for obvious reasons) is the baby-dog swap due to questionable CGI and quite shallow slapstick humor. Otherwise, this Freaky Friday spin is mostly harmless.

The Family Plan (2023) – PG-13 [Apple TV+]
We were pretty entertained by this story about a secret agent hiding in a form of witness protection. It does good work with Mark Wahlberg and Michelle Monaghan carrying the bulk of the film, but the kids shine as well. It was fun to spot some local Atlanta-area locales posing as places across the country. The cheesy and fun plot also resolves well in the end.

Genie (2023) – PG [Peacock]
Completing this trio of fun films, the story of a dysfunctional family driven by a workaholic father who finds a genie fits the bill. It plays with the genie and unexpected consequences tropes quite well, eventually resolving in a happy ending with all the threads tied off. Melissa McCarthy shines as the fish out of water genie, and Paapa Essideu is quite engaging as Bernard. It’s a fairy tale comedy worth the 90 minutes.

Television
Summer 2023

Resident Alien – Seasons 1 and 2 [Syfy via Peacock]
I love Alan Tudyk and this concept, and the cast of this comedy is pretty amazing. It’s also nice to see a comic book adaptation from Dark Horse Comics. Sadly, I feel like this comedy got a little stale in the sophomore season as the main conceit – the alien outsider sent to destroy the planet learns the value of humanity – got lost in a plot without focus.

It’s still worth the watch for the cast and their antics, but I’m not that excited for the eventual third season.

Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets [Hulu]
Do you want the definition of cult? Look no further than this family, their beliefs, and how they sold the ideology to the American public through reality television. There is a pile of disgusting and disturbing behavior beneath the surface of the shiny façade, and it shows just how much the “good ol’ boy” privilege network and piles of cash will hide it from the world.

Ted Lasso [Apple TV]
As a soothing balm in contrast to that last title, Ted Lasso is just beautiful. I adored every minute of this show and the stories it told, both about optimism and recovery from trauma. The characters all have room to shine, and the ideals of redemption and potential spoke to me. Loudly. It was tough to set this one down every night.

Like The Good Place, I want a complete Blu-ray set on my shelf so I can watch this over and over again at any time. I’m not a soccer (football) fan, but I am a fan of AFC Richmond. Binge this show. It’s a life-changer.

Bless This Mess [ABC via Hulu]
This is a lesson in getting through the first few episodes because this series is dumb as a bag of hammers, but the writing and production values didn’t engage until the finale of the first six-episode season. I was ready to give up on this mindless mess until “The Estonian Method,” after which everything gelled. The characters became likable and the jokes actually got funnier. Strangely, it hit that mark when it actually embraced the absurdity and dialed it to eleven.

This isn’t spectacular by any means, but if you want to watch some really ignorant city folk try to be farmers by watching YouTube and living in a deathtrap of a house, go for it. Just know that the series ends on a bit of a cliffhanger.

Secret Invasion [Disney+]
Trainwreck.

Okay, okay, look… I liked the basic conceit of this series, and there are a lot of elements that I liked overall, but the show left way too much potential on the table as it tried to figure out what it was. It literally went through an identity crisis, starting as a sci-fi political thriller but receding into a pile of abandoned plot threads as characters passed the “stupid ball” back and forth. Even Nick Fury, who is supposed to be ten steps ahead of his opponents, ends up on his back foot way to often in this show, and his arc is cut short by yet another CGI slugfest instead of restitution for his sins.

It’s a stepping stone in Marvel’s Phase Five, but it doesn’t provide many answers. In fact, it opens up more holes than anything else, and it leaves the world worse than when the show started. It also fridges main characters whom we have adored for years. The end of the first episode is unforgivable.

I’ll give one bright spot amid this show’s narrative fog: Olivia Colman nailed it.

Otherwise, this was disappointing, and should have spent more time on the drawing board to find cohesion.

Good Omens 2 [Amazon Prime]
I adored this follow-up to the first series. The basic thread of love was a fine exploration, and the ending broke my heart as a result. It’s a great parable about love, religion, and the friction that exists between the two. As someone whose background includes a religion that constantly forces people to choose between faith and love of those who don’t believe, this story spoke to me on a different level.

Of course, the solution’s hand was tipped early in the series and the main story seemed a bit sparse, leading to the tangent tales from the past to amplify things. But overall, I really enjoyed the ride.

How could you not with Michael Sheen and David Tennant?

The Witcher – Season 3 [Netflix]
I put this season on the same level as Season Two, neither of which holds a candle to the first season but are still fun fantasy action dramas. It will be interesting to see how (if at all) the change in lead actors is addressed.

I’ve seen a lot of fans who think that Netflix or the showrunners have done Henry Cavill wrong, but I’m not a Cavill “stan”. It will be interesting to see what Liam Hemsworth does with the role.

Hijack [Apple TV]
A tense and enjoyable thriller, but there are a lot of characters playing with the stupid ball near the halfway mark. Daniel the detective and the airplane’s pilot, for example. I also wasn’t a fan of some of the dangling plot threads at the end. I did enjoy how they basically played this series in real time, though, airing enough episodes to cover the time of the flight.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds – Season 2 [Paramount+]
I adore this series because of how willing it is to experiment and explore. Putting Star Trek‘s first musical episode and an animated crossover next to compelling stories about PTSD, war, and relationship stress is a bold move that pays off because it makes me care about these characters. The musical stood out because Trek is no stranger to silliness, and it’s good to see the actors having fun with their roles.

I also don’t worry too much about the dreaded c-word – continuity! – because Star Trek has never (never!) been that concerned about it. Continuity is truly a fan-driven drama and not something that I feel concerned enough about to argue instead of the philosophical meat of the franchise.

If anything, I’d like these seasons to be longer, but that’s purely selfish because I don’t want them to end.

Silo – Season 1 [Apple TV]
This set of episodes did really well with keeping momentum and intrigue as the mystery was unraveled. The ending was shocking and offers a lot of potential for what comes next. I’m also really interested in the book series that inspired the television series.

Television
Autumn 2023

I am Groot – Season 2 [Disney+]
There’s not much to say about I am Groot except that it is adorable. I love watching little Groot having little adventures in the universe, and I think the only downside is the prevalence of scatological humor in these episodes.

Gaslit [Starz]
This docudrama about the Watergate Scandal is not a feel-good miniseries at all, but it does shine a light on some of the lesser-known greed and darkness surrounding the corruption in the Nixon Administration. This was a series that we could only take an episode every one or two days. Powerful but intense.

Star Wars: Ahsoka – Season 1 [Disney+]
I’m a sucker for all things Ahsoka Tano and this show is no exception. I loved diving into the continued mythology of the Force and Ahsoka’s path concerning it. Hardly a missed beat along the way and I’m eager to see what comes next.

Family Law – Season 2 [CW]
The second season of Family Law redeemed Jewel Staite’s character for me as she continues to grow and evolve. Finally free of her community service, she’s able to challenge her boundaries and stand up for herself without threat of repercussion. There are a lot of strong and relevant stories in this season, and I’m on board for another set from this team, which will apparently debut in the US in mid-January.

Viper
Sometimes I play catch-up, and this is one of those titles. For reference, I watched this in syndication when I was a teenager, and while I recognized the B-movie plots and cheesy humor, the technological side (both on the show and behind the scenes) kept me engaged. I mean, it was all about a transforming supercar that defied the laws of physics in the same vein as Knight Rider.

It originally ran for four seasons, starting on NBC in 1994 before getting canceled and revived. It ran for three more seasons in syndication between 1996 and 1999 before being axed for good. It ran on my local stations as late-night Saturday programming, and I usually flipped over to it while I did my homework.

It certainly hasn’t aged well, especially considering its dependence on “might makes right” police storylines. Much of what Team Viper did was outside the lines of normal police protocol, and many of their missions wouldn’t stand up in court. In that regard, it’s like the Batman effect: The police are so ineffective at their jobs that a shadowy force has to step up instead. It becomes hand-wavy if you think about it too hard.

On the other hand, I do miss Heather Medway on my television. I enjoyed the balance that she brought to the show, especially after Dawn Stern left.

I might have to write more about this childhood touchstone.

Star Trek: Lower Decks – Season 4 [Paramount+]
Lower Decks is one of my favorite recent Star Trek series, and the fourth season keeps ramping up the quality in both animation and story. The gentle pokes at the legacy of Star Trek are also great fun, and it helps that the show is laughing with fans about those touchstones rather than at the audience. It doesn’t bully fans, and that’s important while parodying some of the franchise’s sillier moments.

The Wheel of Time – Season 2 [Amazon Prime]
I know that this show is a controversial one among Wheel of Time fans, especially since it doesn’t hew to the Robert Jordan novels that inspired it. That said, I really enjoy watching it. The show is a parallel universe for my wife (a fan of the novels) and an easier-to-digest version of the story for me (someone who couldn’t get through the novels). I’m also a big fan of Rosamund Pike, so that helps.

It also motivates me to pick up the novels again. Maybe I’ll do it again one day.

The Morning Show – Season 3 [Apple TV+]
The Morning Show keeps getting wackier. This time, they tackled the Elon Musk mindset and the January 6th insurrection, and there was a lot of great character development as our main characters tried to navigate love and loyalty. It ends in a good place that opens a few doors for Season Four, and I eagerly await what they do next.

Loki – Season 2 [Disney+]
I wondered how the Loki team would top their efforts in Season One. Yeah, they did it, with recursive storylines, the ever-present threat of Kang the Conqueror (who is likely getting a new face in the near future), and some answers to questions that we’ve had about the TVA regulars for quite some time.

Oh, yeah… and some of that god with glorious purpose stuff. I really liked how this version of Loki ended up, and I’m okay if there are no more seasons left here. This particular version of Loki, spawned from an alternate timeline in Avengers: Endgame, has ended up in a good place. This was easily one of my favorite recent offerings from Marvel Studios.

Upload – Season 3 [Amazon Prime]
I expected this to be the final season, so when the story kind of meandered all over the place, I was worried about how it would wrap everything up in eight episodes. As it turns out, this season ends with a cliffhanger opportunity for a fourth installment. As of this writing, a renewal hasn’t been confirmed, but this series continues to explore some strange territory in a world where life and the soul don’t seem dependent on having a physical body. Combined with some poignant and timely social commentary, this is easily one of my favorite science fiction properties on television.

The Buccaneers – Season 1 [Apple TV+]
My wife loves period dramas, so this remake of a miniseries based on an unfinished novel was quite appealing. The story revolves around a group of young American women who travel to 1870s Britain in search of fortune, titles, and (hopefully) love.

The positives here all revolve around the agency of the women, including the desire to find love overriding the draw of fame and fortune, as well as how to deal with domestic abuse in the very patriarchal nineteenth century. The negatives center on the ever-present period drama trope of miscommunication. It’s frustrating when the conflicted characters don’t sit down and talk. Instead, there are a lot of assumptions and prejudice-driven interpolations where there should be heart-to-hearts between these supposed best friends.

The modern soundtrack is anachronistic but catchy, and I’m admittedly invested in these characters despite my frustrations with their choices. I was also quite happy to see Christina Hendricks on the screen again.

What If…? – Season 2 [Disney+]
What If…? Season One was amazing, and Season Two continues that quality. I loved seeing Captain Carter take a major role, and the zany Die Hard parody for Christmas Eve was hilarious. The crown jewel this season was Kahhori and her episode that was primarily voiced in the Mohawk language of Kanien’kéha and Spanish. I hope to see her in the MCU again.

Books

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma: Twilight – David R. George
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma: This Gray Spirit – Heather Jarman
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma: Cathedral – Michael A. Martin and Andy Mangels
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma: Lesser Evil – Robert Simpson
I have been enjoying the Deep Space Nine revival “season”, but the Mission Gamma miniseries was a set of hits and misses for me.

Twilight had the hard job of setting up the miniseries, concluding the Gateways crisis and launching an exploratory mission to the Gamma Quadrant. I mean, truly getting Star Trek back to boldly going! I really like the adventure with the Vahni Vahltupali and the inner conflict for Thirishar ch’Thane and his responsibility to the Andorians. I was also pleased with the circumstances on Deep Space Nine itself, between Kira’s personal faith crisis and the goal of finally admitting Bajor to the Federation.

This Gray Spirit also caught my attention as it carried the story threads forward with a plot concerning a dispute between species that enraptures Shar. The heart-breaking ending for him was hard to get through. Powerful but difficult. Cathedral started to slip a bit for me with a mysterious artifact that enabled the old de-evolution trope. It did have one hell of an ending, though, which drives Lesser Evil on the Alpha Quadrant side. Unfortunately, the Alpha events far outweighed the been-there-done-that Borg story around Prynn and Vaughn that undoes everything they’ve worked so hard to mend. That development was frustrating.

Thankfully, the Sisko elements on Earth helped bolster the last two books.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Rising Son – S.D. Perry
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Unity – S.D. Perry
In general, I liked this pair by S.D. Perry, but I favor the latter over the former. I feel like this “season” of adventures could have spread Jake Sisko’s story throughout the various books rather than compressing it into Rising Son. That said, I did enjoy the spirit of Star Trek that the story embodied by having Jake seeking out new worlds alongside the mystery of former-Kai Opaka. It’s not a spoiler… she’s on the cover.

Unity really tied everything together for me, though, including a plot about the parasite species that were introduced in The Next Generation‘s first season. Benjamin Sisko’s long overdue return was also a great way to end this effective season.

Star Trek – Starfleet: Year One – Michael Jan Friedman
In what is an alternate universe approach after Star Trek: Enterprise, this tale explores the beginnings of Starfleet after the Earth-Romulan War. I enjoyed seeing the dichotomy between the explorer captains and the military captains, and I appreciate how well Michael Jan Friedman wove them together to solve a conflict in the Star Trek manner.

Star Trek: Destiny – Gods of Night – David Mack
Star Trek: Destiny – Mere Mortals – David Mack
Star Trek: Destiny – Lost Souls – David Mack
I won’t tell you the overarching plot of this trilogy, but the whole thing is chock full of great character development mixed with frustrating and heartbreaking scenarios. I really liked how Erika Hernandez, the captain of the Columbia NX-02 from Star Trek: Enterprise was the central character, and I really appreciate the imagination that set up the origins and explosive conclusion to a major galactic threat that I had really ceased caring about on television.

Oh, and Captain Ezri Dax is pretty badass.

Reads in progress:

The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (32%)
Star Trek: Typhon Pact

Stage

MJ: The Musical – Broadway in Atlanta
It’s a jukebox musical about the life of Michael Jackson as he geared up for the 1992 Dangerous tour. It’s full of history and pop, but because of the time in which it is set, it doesn’t touch on the darker parts of his legacy. The portrayal of Michael Jackson was really good from all of the actors who played him throughout his life. It’s a good story and production, but I preferred Tina more.

The Wiz – Broadway in Atlanta
I haven’t seen the 1978 film – the ironic timing with this production following after MJ: The Musical is not lost on me – but this revival of the 1974 production that inspired the film was fun. It was a great interpretation of The Wizard of Oz, and I was tapping my toes along with the music more than once.

Annie – Broadway in Atlanta
Speaking of musicals and their related films, this was another fun experience. The lead in our production was a pitch-perfect match for the orphan character, and the pup playing Sandy was having a blast. Story-wise, this one did fall apart a bit with the dispatching of the villains, but otherwise, it was a good time.

Games

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom – Nintendo Switch
I haven’t invested a lot of time on the gaming front as 2023 wound down, but what time I did spend was devoted to Hyrule. I left everything with a save point right before the final battle, so all I need to do now is work up my armor and supplies before saving the world.

Culture on My Mind is inspired by the weekly Can’t Let It Go segment on the NPR Politics Podcast where each host brings one thing to the table that they just can’t stop thinking about.

For more creativity with a critical eye, visit Creative Criticality.

Timestamp #291: It Takes You Away

January 17, 2024July 29, 2024 Michael Falkner4 Comments

Ribbit… or is it tibbir?

The TARDIS lands in a Nordic forest. The companions enjoy the views while the Doctor confirms the time and place by tasting the grass, then everyone jumps when the Doctor spots a sheep. She determines that they are in 2018, leaving 193 years before the great Woolly Rebellion, an event that forced a renegotiation of the entire human-sheep relationship on Earth.

Weird.

The team sets their sights on a distant cabin, and the Doctor wonders why there’s no evidence of smoke from the chimney despite it being the middle of winter. The cabin is boarded up but Ryan catches a bit of movement through the window. The Doctor uses her sonic screwdriver to unlock the three locks on the front door and the team investigates. Ryan finds a girl hiding in the upstairs wardrobe, but she refuses to move when the Doctor asks. Once Graham offers up his emergency sandwich(!), the girl joins the team in the kitchen.

The girl’s name is Hanne and she’s afraid of the thing from which her father was defending the house. She can’t explain what the thing looks like because she’s blind, but she knows that her father disappeared four days ago. She asks the Doctor for help.

Ryan’s not great with kids, but Yaz immediately bonds with Hanne over a t-shirt for the Arctic Monkeys band. Hanne knows that her father didn’t simply leave her because the boat is still tied up nearby. Hanne gets nervous when her watch beeps, signaling the daily hunting time for the beast. As Yaz and Ryan scout around, they find animal traps and hear a loud roar. The team convenes outside but can’t find a beast to accompany the roar, so the Doctor orders everyone to secure the house.

Upstairs, Graham sees a mirror that doesn’t reflect his image. Ryan wonders if they are vampires before the mirror bleeds strange energy and the Doctor arrives. The mirror changes to normal for a moment before shifting again, but the Doctor is able to lock it in phase and take a look inside. The mirror is a portal to another dimension, and the Doctor decides to take another look but wants to leave Ryan behind to look after Hanne. She writes “Assume her dad is dead. Keep her safe. Find out who else can take care of her.” on the wall, telling Hanne that it’s a map of the house for Ryan’s benefit. Then the Doctor, Graham, and Yaz enter the mirror in search of Hanne’s father, Erik.

What lies beyond is a foggy and narrow cave. After leaving a trail of string to find their way home, they follow a light to a strange being named Ribbons. Ribbons offers his lantern in exchange for the sonic screwdriver (which looks pretty), and the Doctor promises payment upon delivery if Ribbons can show them the way to Erik.

As they progress, the team is introduced to killer flesh moths which Ribbons lures away with dead rats. He then cuts the thread while the team is distracted and betrays the team. As flesh moths descend, Ribbons mentions that this place is an anti-zone, a buffer that appears wherever the fabric of spacetime is threatened. The flesh moths extinguish the lantern and Ribbons tries to run after snatching the sonic screwdriver, but Graham stops him. The Doctor warns the team to stand still, but Ribbons tries to grab the sonic and is consumed by the moths. While the moths are busy, the team runs to a nearby portal and escapes, but they’re on the other side of the mirror.

Back in normal space, Hanne calls Ryan’s bluff about the map. Hanne is upset about Ryan’s attitude, but they team up when the roars come closer. Ryan finds a wire and follows it to a speaker, discovering that the roars are a recording. Ryan runs back to tell Hanne, but she knocks him out and goes through the mirror. When he comes to, Ryan pursues.

In the mirror world, the team finds a beautiful and tidy cabin. They also find Erik, wearing a Slayer t-shirt with a backward logo, and a revelation: The monster is a recording. Erik tried to keep Hanne safe while he was gone because Trine (Hanne’s mother) is in the mirror zone. Or rather, her mirror universe version exists here, but cannot travel through the mirror. The team is also introduced to another traveler.

Grace is here.

Both of the women have memories of their lives before death. Graham tells Grace all about his adventures with the Doctor, but he’s unsure if he can trust Grace until she explains her passion for frogs. Meanwhile, the Doctor tells Yaz about the Solitract, a story that her fifth grandmother shared when the Doctor was a child. It existed at the start of the universe along with all of the other elements, but it couldn’t exist in the universe so it was exiled to another plane so it could exist naturally. The Solitract isn’t malevolent. It’s just lonely. But because of its nature, nothing from this universe cannot enter N-Space.

Graham and Erik have to choose between life here with their loved ones or their real lives in the normal universe.

As this detail is made clear, Ryan and Hanne navigate the anti-zone. Ryan sends Hanne ahead while he distracts the flesh moths. Hanne is overjoyed to find Erik but is not convinced that Trine is her mother. The world around them is falling apart since it is full of incompatible N-Space energy, but the Solitract wants to keep them as a cure for its loneliness. When the travelers reject the Solitract, they are knocked back into the anti-zone, and the Doctor offers herself in exchange for the others. She will stay behind since she’s seen the universe that the Solitract misses. The Solitract rejects Erik to save its universe.

Then the mirror universe goes white.

When it resolves again, the Doctor is faced with a skeleton of the cabin’s attic and a frog sitting on a chair. It speaks to the Doctor in Grace’s voice, taking an avatar that once delighted Grace. The Doctor begins to vibrate as the universe continues to destabilize, and the Doctor makes the case that the Solitract cannot survive if it holds on to what it cannot have. The Doctor tells the Solitract that they will remain friends even in her absence, and the Solitract sends her back into the anti-zone.

Everyone runs back to N-Space as the anti-zone collapses. The Doctor seals the portal behind them as the survivors come to terms with their losses. Erik and Hanne plan to move back to Oslo and start again, and Hanne is proud of her father for coming to terms with Trine’s death. Ryan and Graham talk about how Grace would react to this adventure, and Ryan finally calls him granddad. Together, they join their TARDIS family and set course for a new time and space.

I’m going to avoid a Calgon joke.

This is a beautiful story without a true villain. Instead, the Solitract is lonely, and to make connections, it offers companionship to those who grieve. Erik and Graham both get to heal a bit from their grief, and they extend this to their dependents. Graham specifically makes a deeper connection with Ryan through their shared trauma.

Now, I understand the Solitract taking a frog’s form in honor of Grace, but I think it would have had a better impact if it had taken a form that would tempt the Doctor to stay. Sure, the Doctor is tempted by this Time Lord fairy tale, but the whole point of the Solitract’s game was to bait companions with someone they miss. The perfect avatar would have been Susan, extending some goodwill with the return of Carole Ann Ford.

After all, “one day, I will come back”… yet the Doctor never really has on television, have they? Instead, we get another fast ending and more questions about things we’ll likely never see again.

The casting was great with Eleanor Wallwork, the first blind actor in Doctor Who to play a blind character. That degree of authenticity was wonderful, as was the general low-budget horror atmosphere of this kinda spooky tale.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos

Timestamp #290: The Witchfinders

January 10, 2024July 29, 2024 Michael Falkner1 Comment

If a Time Lord weighs the same as a duck…

The Doctor wants to take her companions to see the coronation of Elizabeth I, but the TARDIS has stubbornly dragged them to the early 17th century and a village where a party rapidly changes into a somber trial of an accused witch. The Doctor cautions her companions to not interfere in historical events, but she breaks those rules almost immediately as Becka Savage condemns Mother Twiston to a test by the dunking chair. The test itself is flawed: If Twiston survives the test, she’s obviously a witch and will be executed accordingly, but if she drowns, then she’s innocent.

Either way, the accused will not find justice. Twiston doesn’t survive, but because the Doctor interfered, Savage must now treat the corpse as if the woman was a witch. Savage is furious, but the Doctor uses her psychic paper to pose as a Witchfinder General with her special team. Savage’s demeanor changes as she asks the Doctor to join her, and the Doctor places a condition on the meeting: Savage will leave Twiston’s granddaughter Willa alone.

Savage is the owner of the village lands, which she inherited after her husband died, and in her quest to eliminate satanic influences, she shot all of the horses. Yaz meets with Willa as the team listens to Savage’s story. It turns out that she’s trying to uphold the newly published King James Bible – “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” – which the Doctor counters with a twist from the sequel – “Love thy neighbor.” – which actually originated in the Book of Leviticus.

As if on cue, a man in a plague doctor mask opens the door. He is King James I, traveling incognito to hear of Savage’s crusade and offer his assistance. He reads the psychic paper as the Doctor being an assistant to Graham – a woman cannot outrank a man – then sets his sights on Willa.

No one in the village is safe from the crusaders.

Yaz finds Willa saying farewell at her grandmother’s grave. The young woman is nearly attacked by tentacle-like roots and then runs off after Yaz stops them. Yaz finds the rest of the team in Savage’s room. The Doctor scans the mud splatters but finds nothing of interest. The Doctor and Yaz set off to find Willa while Graham and Ryan keep King James occupied.

King James and his entourage inspect a box of witch-hunting artifacts before the king sets them on his quest to burn out the witches. Graham tries to understand Savage’s motivations while Ryan and the king compare traumas. The king believes that his god will protect him as he performs holy works.

Yaz and the Doctor find Willa and enter the Twiston home, finding a room of bottles and herbs to make medicines. Willa doesn’t feel well because of the hatred and mistrust of the village against her, something with which Yaz can empathize. She also reveals that Savage is her cousin, but she’s willing to help figure out what’s going on with the tendrils and the mud. The Doctor finds a sample near the grave that is very active in a sample jar. The women are interrupted by Mother Twiston’s reanimated corpse which is eager to absorb the sample. They are soon surrounded by a large group of reanimated corpses.

A scream summons the king’s group, and after the reanimated kill the king’s assistant Alfonso, the Doctor orders everyone to run. The Doctor wants to return and examine the reanimated, but she soon narrows her focus to Savage. The landlord flips the accusations back on the Doctor, accusing her of witchcraft and inspiring King James to action. Under pressure, Willa turns on the Doctor and the Time Lord is taken into custody.

As the companions follow the mud creatures to Savage’s home, the king interrogates the Doctor. King James holds the sonic screwdriver – the Doctor’s magic wand – so the Doctor resorts to psychological warfare, including the secrets of the king’s mother and how she was scapegoated in his father’s murder. If the king wants to understand the secrets of existence, he must understand the mysteries of the human heart.

Unconvinced, the king summons his guards and orders the Doctor to the dunking chair. As she’s strapped in, the Doctor notes a spark as Savage touches the chair. Savage starts her speech as mud trickles from her eyes, then dunks the Doctor as the companions arrive and plead with the king to end the trial. When the chair is raised, the Doctor has vanished – having studied under Harry Houdini – and swam upstream.

Savage calls for the Doctor’s execution but the mud creatures arrive in pursuit of the landlord. Some time prior, Savage had cut down a tree because it spoiled her view of a hill, but the tree infected her with the mud. She had Mother Twiston executed because the woman was too weak to heal Savage, using the cut parts of the tree as the dunking chair. After this confession, Savage transforms into a creature and reveals that the hill is a prison for war criminals named the Morax, reduced to their basic DNA and stored in the ground. Savage knocks everyone out and leaves to free her people.

The Doctor cuts the dunking chair apart and creates weapons from the wood. The team is joined by Willa as they march on the hill as Savage tries to infect the king with Morax DNA. The Doctor and Willa face off against Savage, eventually restoring the prison and returning the Morax to the mud. King James strikes the final blow and Savage is destroyed.

Disgusted with the king, the Doctor returns to the TARDIS. Willa decides to take up her grandmother’s title as healer – Doctor – and Ryan turns down the king’s offer to stand as his protector. The team boards the TARDIS and departs, leaving the king and Willa astonished by the magic.

After eight on-screen adventures, the Thirteenth Doctor finally faces challenges due to her gender in this third pseudo-historical story. This is a good use of gender swapping in drama and really wasn’t exercised enough during this era of the show. This happens in a story written and directed by women – Joy Wilkinson and Sallie Aprahamian, respectively – which marks the first such combination in the revival era and the second in Doctor Who overall after Enlightenment.

In that drama, the tension of twisting conspiracies is well used, as is the battle between compassion and fear. The latter battle is an exercise of the show’s very ethos and adds a lot of power to this adventure. The atmosphere and the tension make this story work. Also doing phenomenal work here are Alan Cumming (chewing on every piece of scenery he can find) and Siobhan Finneran (whom I know best as Miss O’Brien from Downton Abbey).

All of those elements combined make the magic of one of the best episodes in the series so far.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: It Takes You Away

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