I have a small earworm that is making this week’s commutes a little easier. It shuffled up on my iPod during Monday evening’s drive, and I’ve used it for the last couple of days.
The video above was created by YouTube user Dav3C. There is no official music video, and Weird Al refuses to play this song in concert due to the rapid-fire description of “all that stuff” in the store. Nevertheless, it’s a fun song.
They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and Spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker stepped up next to me, grabbed my drink and gulped it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he said menacingly as I burst into tears.
“Come on, man,” the biker said. “I didn’t think you’d cry. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” I said. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me.
“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how’s your day going?”